Kris Ihli
Kris Ihli
Jul 10, 2017 · 4 min read

What an interesting theory and IMHO a clear demonstration of how little you know of human consciousness, have you studied psychology?

Do you believe in Unconditional Love as well? I find that people that preach unconditional love are pretty much always looking for a freebie, hand out, charity, etc. from some else. That it is one sided, they want to take not give.

A mask is like our skin, it protects us to a degree from the outside world. Without a mask we are more vulnerable to many things.

Everyone wears a mask, pretty much all the time. Most of us have several masks that we alternate. If you are truly without out a mask then you are at serious risk of being either taken advantage of or rejected. It is a lot like clothes, if you do not wear clothes outside in public you will most likely be considered to be mentally ill or otherwise dangerous. In most scenarios you will be relocated, taken to jail, for observation, maybe returned home.

These premises that you can avoid wearing a mask are based on fantasy. Your masks are what keep you safe, allow you entry to places, etc. If you think it doesn’t matter then you are fooling yourself.

An old saying, “You will never see your own face (mask), only the reflection. So you benefit from working with others who may share their opinions on your mask(s).

I have some physical limitations due to spinal injuries and other issues. When I was younger I had not learned so to wear masks, told I wore my heart on my sleeve, this was considered a negative behavior. So the other children rejected and taunted me.

Simply speaking few of us have the capacity to be authentic with people that behave or look different than we do. I personally work with myself to be more accepting of others and their masks. Many of us have evolved sophisticated masks, most of which we are unconscious of, to reach our goals.

I do have a brother who chooses to be honest with his employers about their performance. Fortunately he has unique skills, or they would have fired him years ago. He tells the truth about what is wrong in the office, this costs him promotions and he is often attacked by others over his directness. The observations he makes often offend people, many of who are trying to cover up their lack of performance or favoritism.

I currently have some physical limitations due to spinal injuries and other health issues. If I share the list of my current experiences, people say TMI, Too Much Information. This creates distance between us, so I do my best to keep my Happy Face on and focus on the positive. Hell! I get tired of my own story as well.

If I am down due to the pain or other “negative” experiences what works best is to work it out on my own or with a therapist. My friends and family are not comfortable knowing the full truth of my experience and if I share too much “negative” information, they move away from me. I too am not interested in spending much time with people who are suffering a lot, I prefer people who are happy and well. Such is one of the truths of life.

Being Authentic with others is a part of my personal practice for friendships yet one has to recognize when and what is appropriate to share. Context is everything. If you do not choose wisely, then it is like playing poker and showing your cards to the other players. Much of life is competitive rather than cooperative. I do my best to encourage a cooperative lifestyle, yet it is contextual.

Locally, I live in a town that depends on tourism, the police crack down on any one who does not wear the mask of conformity and wealth. Homeless or low income people are driving out of town by the local police. Personally I avoid the downtown due to heavy police activity, 2 miles over the speed limit is $175 fine, first time.

Reminds me of the story of the woman writer that was gathering material for a book on age discrimination. She dressed up as an old woman in a large city, one day in this costume she was mugged, the injuries crippled her permanently, so the cost of her wearing a mask of vulnerability was pretty high.

This is especially evident with children, groups form, there is a pecking order. If you are young and sensitive most other children reject you, if you are one of the one’s who is being abused or are living in poverty the other children, including most teachers do not have the bandwidth to support you.

I grew up in poverty, in an abusive household and had a medical issue, eczema, that caused my hands to crack and bleed. I had very few if any friends, just my family members.

I have used those experiences to develop compassion, I regularly work 1:1 with others on working on being more compassionate.

    Kris Ihli

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    Kris Ihli