I LOST A SMALL HUMAN OR 11 THINGS I LEARNED BY LOSING 145LBS

Two years ago I weighed 350lbs.
Today I weight 217lbs.
Super late update — I’m now down to 205lbs.

Here are the top 11 things I have learned in this strange and amazing journey.

1) At first I couldn’t do much exercise. In February, 2014 (when I actually started losing most of the weight) I couldn’t do more than 5 pushups. Now I can knock out sets of 40. I couldn’t run more than 2/3 a mile, now most days during lunch I run 2.5 miles. It is really amazing what happens when you simply try to 1 more set, 1 more lap, 1 more step. I have learned to power of non-zero days, meaning don’t have a day where you achieve zero progress towards you goal.

2) It sounds narcissistic, but I now love selfies*. It is unreal how much feeling healthy affects your mental state.

3) I understand now how hard being overweight can be. Everything was more difficult for me: stairs, tying my shoes, finding clothes. It has opened my eyes to a very different reality than what I was used to.

4) Food can be a destructive way to suppress the pain. I can’t believe I am going to quote Austin Powers, but “I eat because I am unhappy, I am unhappy because I eat.” After my divorce, food became a vice. Looking back it is shocking just how much I was eating and what I was eating.

4) I crave exercise again. I was moderately fit before my divorce, I forgot how much I love the pain, the sweat, and the joy of being sore the next day. I can’t go more than a day now without exercise.

5) I crave my plant based diet again. I was vegan for 2 years. Now, without all of the processed food in my system, I constantly long for fruits and vegetables.**

6) I sweat more now than I did when I was obese. I have talked to a few friends in the medical profession. They assure me it is because my body is more efficient at cooling with all of the excess weight gone. I think it is hilarious that I now have to think about back sweat. Seriously, this is probably the weirdest thing to learn but the sweat struggle is now real.

7) Walking into a clothing store when I was obese was a nightmare and disheartening. Shopping is now a surreal experience where things just fit. I was only at that weight for 3.5 years but it did a number on my psyche regarding clothes. I now want all of my pants to say “slim” if only to remind myself of how far I have come.

8) Pull-ups and burpees are still a pain in the ass regardless of how fit I am. I imagined that once I was able to do a few pull-ups I would be like Batman and crank out 150 in no time. Nope.***

9) This journey isn’t over yet. It is a life long commitment to never going back to where I was. Everyday is a chance to push myself harder and farther.

10) There is hope. Going back to the first learn, doing something everyday not only helped the overall goal, it gave me hope. Every additional step, push-up, sit-up, and lap I swam, showed progress. Progress showed up not only on the scale but in my routine. There is hope.

11) This is the most important of all my learnings. I couldn’t have done this without some incredible support. You have no idea how much it means when people ask if I have lost weight. Every person that made a comment about my new physique or my progress only added to my motivation. Some days I didn’t feel like I was making progress, then a passing remark would change my perspective. We don’t always see the progress in ourselves, the daily comments were so vital in my progress. I can’t thank everyone here but if you were one of those people, please know how much that meant to me.

Without being hyperbolic, I will never be able to express the amount of gratitude I have for a certain people in my life. I have remarkable friends without whom this journey would not have been possible. Finally, I am so grateful for my family. Their words of love and encouragement have meant the world to me.

I have debated posting this out fear that I would come off as a braggart. This is part of my story, part of my healing. I hope that the things I learned help others as well.

* I think a lot of it stems from the fact that I can’t believe the change yet. I met Chris Powell from ABC’s Extreme Weight Loss and we talked about my journey. He said it takes people who lose that much weight 3–5 years for their mind to adjust to the new physical identity.
**To be very clear, I eat a ton of eggs and bacon now. I used to hate bacon, but after the weight loss I want all of the bacon. All of it. Bring it to me.
*** The goal was never 50 pull-ups, it was, is, and will forever remain; to be like Batman.