Love this topic ChaosIntended, thanks for your note! And yes! I’ve given this lots of thought… both from my personal experiences and from my experience mentoring women to find deeper intimacy with themselves and with their lovers. I can attest to the fact that sexting with words is hot — there’s an erotic suggestion and anticipation that’s no less than titilating. But a disconnect can happen when the primary way of connecting is through visuals. We stay in our own world of connecting to the visual, which becomes unilaterally a mentally erotic experience, as opposed to an erotic experience includes both our emotional state and the natural primal desires of our bodies (without visuals).
The visual helps us stay in our heads and “get off”, which might be satisfying as far as getting an endorphin rush through an unleashed orgasm, but feeling connection with the person on the other end of sext is fleeting. It leaves us wanting more — something about that hot interaction doesn’t feel totally satisfying. So we develop this addictive association of wanting more with our ‘devices’ — instead of the actual person on the other end of the sext. Relying primarily on visuals for sexual satisfaction may connect us to lust, but it can by-pass feeling pleasure in our bodies by connecting to our current emotional state. Do you agree?
What I think is so powerful about your article is that it points to the fact that devices and visuals have become a mainstay on the menu of sexual satisfaction, and it’s a slippery slope. While it offers an outlet to grant ourselves more permission to declare and claim our erotic desires, it’s also an outlet for disconnecting from our emotions, our body’s primal desires to connect to human flesh (un-attached to fantasies in our heads) & deeper desire for connection.
I’m researching the science behind this, but in the meantime, you might enjoy this read…. What Do Women Want?: Adventures in the Science of Female Desire. It’s a fascinating and revolutionary look at female desires. It reveals how far-reaching our sexuality can be stimulated by images, especially for women. Would love to hear your thoughts. And I look forward to following your next piece…. sexual satisfaction is such an important topic to explore!!