Taking Decisive Action to Start Healing from Trauma

As a therapist, I am often the first person that someone discloses their traumatic experiences to. It is a profound experience to watch someone begin to put down the burden of their trauma. They are taking a decisive action to face the challenge of what they’ve experienced. Sometimes these experiences took place years earlier, sometimes during their childhood, and sometimes the experience happened recently. Each time, I am in awe of the undeniable strength I see in someone, beginning to face something that they have experienced, and often, actively worked to avoid for as long as possible.

Many people in the U.S. and around the world, witnessed something similar when Dr. Ford presented her testimony against the confirmation of Judge Kavanaugh. Although Dr. Ford had disclosed her experience the past, to her husband and her therapist, the level of strength her public disclosure took is exceptional.

What Dr. Ford may not have expected, and what I hope she has since learned is that her strength gave many other women strength. It may not have changed the political decision, but it is changing lives. Like many therapists, I can attest to the increase in the number of clients, deciding to face their own experiences of sexual assault. As with the beginning of the #Metoo movement, many women have been triggered by the callous nature of the discussions around rape and sexual assault. And for many, it echoed their greatest fear, that nobody would care.

Many of the women who felt triggered by these discussions could no longer avoid examining the impact that their abuse had on them.

Women in helping fields, including social work and humanitarian work often find themselves similarly triggered by the work they choose. Many aid workers don’t realize that their experiences of abuse, including sexual assault will be triggered by working with women who have had similar experiences.

When people tell me about these experiences of being triggered, they describe feeling hopeless or helpless or feeling trapped or angry. These types of strong reactions often motivate people. For the new clients that I, and many of my colleagues have met, this experience has led to the decision to do something and get help. For the first time, many women have decided that their experiences, or the responses of others, would not be insurmountable.[1] That decisive act, to overcome their experience of trauma is an act that fosters resilience.

Healing is not a linear process. It takes time, and patience, and acceptance of self. The first decisive step forward may be some form of self-expression, such as writing, composing music, drawing or sculpting or it may be seeing counseling. No matter how much time has passed, it is never too late for healing to start.

I recently worked with a woman who, after nearly 10 years of avoiding and attempting to forget, found the courage to face her experience of sexual abuse. During our last session together, this client stated, ‘I’m free!’. Healing from sexual assault and sexual abuse is freeing. Taking decisive action, to face these experiences is a step towards true resilience, one that allows a person to feel like themselves again.

Dr. Ford’s courage is proving to be the catalyst for many women seeking freedom from the oppression of their experiences of sexual trauma. Although this is not the result that many of us wanted, when she agreed to testify, it is a result that will make a positive impact on each and every person who decides that now is the time to begin their own healing.

* The American Psychological Association has put together a list of 10 ways to build resilience: making connections, avoiding tendency to view things as insurmountable, accepting change as natural and unavoidable, moving towards your goal, taking decisive action to face challenges, looking for opportunities for self-discovery, nurturing a positive view of self and abilities, keeping things in perspective and context, hopeful outlook and practicing self-care[2]. This article is the first in a series that will look at each of these resilience building topics.

** Kristen Guskovict is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and the founder of Humanitarian Empathy & Refugee Trauma (HEART) of Aid Work. She specializes in work with refugees and refugee service providers. More information about her can be found at www.heartofaidwork.com

[1]Avoid seeing problems as insurmountable is #2 in the APA’s list of 10 ways to build resilience.

[2] American Psychological Association (2018) The road to resilience: 10 ways to build resilience, APA Help Center. Retrieved on 10/8/18 from https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience.aspx