Today I’m feeling like I’m beginning to become myself again.
After a hard week, fatigued days, and a morning to sit and drink coffee for once, it started when I went for a run at 12:15 on a 96-degree hot sunny day. Ran right through that wall of heat. Stopped in the shade of a palm tree near Mesa Viking park. Sat and sweated and soaked in the midday silence all around. The heat was healing, the sweat was cleansing. Burning off the toxins of negativity my skin absorbed after weeks of sad, terrible news. Harvey, Irma, Maria, Vegas, Santa Rosa, the NFL, Hollywood. Burning off stress and disappointment from work, where I’m juggling volunteer training, curriculum design, teaching, student evaluations, trip planning, and teacher training. All as a part-time employee. On top of that reeling from family visiting, travels to SF, and a very needy baby lately. So much housework, so little sleep. Friday I was near the breaking point when I couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed despite my toddlers loudest complaints and greatest pulling efforts. Life gets hard sometimes.
The run burned some of that off. It turned into house cleaning that felt good instead of torture. All the old food in the fridge got tossed. It turned into renewal and resetting and restocking with extensive but thoughtful grocery shopping with hubby. And it turned into inspiration and excitement for a new project: eating and being healthy. We had quarreled about very silly semantics about how to plan our day, but we eventually got to cooking bliss while baby slept early in the night, a rarity for the little one.
I knew that today I could finally do the things I couldn’t do Friday. Yoga. Walks. Parks. I sent a msg out to the moms group. No response but no biggie. Signed up for yoga in advance and held myself accountable. Was delayed this morning by a last-minute poop, but went late anyway. Class was rejuvenating and challenging. The instructor presented poses from a dancers perspective, o unique and stimulating. Baby’s clinginess in the daycare room turned to social playful fun. To see him smiling, giggling, running toward me in the studio after was the most beautiful feeling.
After some indecision about whether to head straight to the beach, I decided to go home instead. Give baby a proper long nap. Make myself a healthy “bowl” lunch that I started preparing yesterday. Baby naps for 3 hrs. I feel the soreness and stretches in my body as I go up and down the stairs. So far, life feels good again. Now to get us outside for the rest of the day and continue feeling alive.