Are we allowed to have pure intentions?
The world says to look out for yourself. The Bible says otherwise.
9/18/23 night
Last night, I watched a video on YouTube.
It had a title that was something along the lines of “don’t go back.” I believe it also said something along the lines of “God is moving you to unknown territory.”
I feel wary about these prophetic videos. They resemble the tarot card videos that I would spend hours watching on YouTube or TikTok (smh), as a replacement for God and the peace that can only come from Him.
However, I took my chances with this one and watched it.
As the title may indicate, it talked about how God is moving the watcher of the video to a completely new place. It most heavily emphasized the idea of sticking to the walk with Jesus, and about the desire to return to what you had before. One of the specific examples the video gave was a hometown and old friends. It heavily emphasized that whoever feels they are being moved to new territory by God needs to read the book of Job.
I felt somewhat affected by this video, as I am leaving my life in the city due to having lost my job.
The next day, something became very clear to me:
That I hide and indulge in many impure intentions in my heart.
When I say intentions, this includes unforgiveness against people who have hurt me and a default mode of suspicion against many. I believe a lot of the suspicion comes from allowing my boundaries to have been overstepped for years and years of my life. It also comes from suffering from an automatic mode of people-pleasing that made it too easy for me to deny myself of my authentic self, boundaries, and proper self-respect, acceptance and love.
One thing I am confused about whether to leave behind are relationships I find difficulty in. However, I am confused about whether it is my impure intentions that are causing difficulties in my relationships or whether these truly are relationships that God wants me to leave behind for now.
I’ve actually arrived at this conclusion several times, but I’ll remind myself of it again. I believe that I am to love all people. Even my enemies. In fact, this is written in the Bible.
“Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you” (Matthew 5:43–44)
So logically, it follows that I am also to love friends who may or may not be aligned with the purpose God has for me.
But the Bible also says this:
The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray. (Proverbs 12:26)
So there must be some sort of middle ground. But this topic actually is not the point of this article.
Returning back to the idea of intentions: first, I received a series of text messages from a friend I was engaging in a philosophical conversation with. He talked about how he believes that the most important thing when it comes to compromising and getting along with others is acting from a place of good intentions.
Later that night (which was only a few hours ago), I decided to read the book of Job, as recommended by the YouTube Video.
The book of Job speaks of a man named Job who is holy and righteous before God.
In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name was Job. This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil. (Job 1:1)
God allows Satan to test Job’s righteousness by inflicting various struggles upon Job. Job initially remains faithful to God throughout trials. However, when Satan is given access by God to Job’s body, upon which Satan imparts warts from head to toe, Job starts to speak against God.
I’m not 100% certain about this, but this is my interpretation of why Job’s words were not righteous before God:
- Accusations of God of unjustly inflicting pain upon him
“What is mankind that you make so much of them, that you give them so much attention, that you examine them every morning and test them every moment? Will you never look away from me, or let me alone even for an instant? If I have sinned, what have I done to you, you who see everything we do? Why have you made me your target? Have I become a burden to you? Why do you not pardon my offenses and forgive my sins? For I will soon lie down in the dust; you will search for me, but I will be no more.” (Job 7:17–21)
2. Questioning of God’s good judgement
“I say to God: Do not declare me guilty, but tell me what charges you have against me. Does it please you to oppress me, to spurn the work of your hands, while you smile on the plans of the wicked? Do you have eyes of flesh? Do you see as a mortal sees? Are your days like those of a mortal or your years like those of a strong man, that you must search out my faults and probe after my sin — though you know that I am not guilty and that no one can rescue me from your hand?” (Job 10:2–7)
Two of Job’s friends try to speak sense into him. But it turns out that both of his friends weren’t speaking the truth, either, regardless of their intentions. Then, finally, the third friend, Elihu, speaks God’s truth.
Here is my interpretation of Elihu’s speech:
- God is just in how he treats people for their wrongdoing and rewards people for their righteousness.
“God is mighty, but despises no one; he is mighty, and firm in his purpose. He does not keep the wicked alive but gives the afflicted their rights. He does not take his eyes off the righteous; he enthrones them with kings and exalts them forever.” (Job 36:5–7)
2. People get into trouble due to their own wrongdoing, not because of God’s actions. When this happens, God may or will allow them to stay in their trouble and, hopefully, learn from it.
“But if people are bound in chains, held fast by cords of affliction, he tells them what they have done — that they have sinned arrogantly. He makes them listen to correction and commands them to repent of their evil.” (Job 36:8–10)
3. If people learn from the trouble that results from their wrongdoing, God will grant them prosperity and contentment. However, if they do not, they will continue to or increase in trouble.
“If they obey and serve him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and their years in contentment. But if they do not listen, they will perish by the sword and die without knowledge.” (Job 36:11–12)
4. God speaks to people when they are suffering, in order to relieve them of their distress and bring them to freedom and comfort. However, it is the godless that do not submit to God for help when they are in trouble.
“The godless in heart harbor resentment; even when he fetters them, they do not cry for help. They die in their youth, among male prostitutes of the shrines. But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction. He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food. But now you are laden with the judgment due the wicked; judgment and justice have taken hold of you.” (Job 36:13–17)
5. When people are in trouble, they must go to God, not to the temptation of wealth or wrongdoing to solve their trouble. God is far more powerful than any amount of wealth or evil.
“Be careful that no one entices you by riches; do not let a large bribe turn you aside. Would your wealth or even all your mighty efforts sustain you so you would not be in distress? Do not long for the night, to drag people away from their homes. Beware of turning to evil, which you seem to prefer to affliction. God is exalted in his power. Who is a teacher like him? Who has prescribed his ways for him, or said to him, ‘You have done wrong.’” (Job 36:18–23)
6. We must always remember to praise God, especially when we appeal to him to be relieved of the troubles of our wrongdoing. His ways of saving us are beyond our understanding. We must not question them.
“Remember to extol his work, which people have praised in song. All humanity has seen it; mortals gaze on it from afar. How great is God — beyond our understanding! The number of his years is past finding out.” (Job 36:24–26)
Finally, God himself speaks to Job, answering Job’s cries to talk to him and address his suffering, and putting Job in his place as a human being before God.
The one part of this book that made me stop in my tracks was Job 34:31–33.
“Suppose a man says to God, ‘I am guilty but will offend no more. Teach me what I cannot see; if I have done wrong, I will not do so again.’ Should God then reward you on your terms, when you refuse to repent?”
This verse revealed 2 things to me.
- I have been upset with God for not solving my problems and giving me the things that I wanted in the time that I wanted, when He had to bring me through a certain journey to fully teach me what I could not see. Furthermore, these things He wanted to teach me were the things that would give me the peace and good life that I so longed for. He wants these things for me as well.
- You can tell God that you’re guilty, that you won’t offend any longer, and to ask Him to teach you what you cannot see — and still not repent in your heart.
Throughout all of these revelations, the one overarching revelation that really cut through my heart was the revelation I mentioned earlier: that I have been harboring more than a few impure intentions in my heart.
However, what moved me as deeply, if not deeper, was that I was allowed to have pure intentions. In fact, God commands for me to have pure intentions. And I’m allowed to have pure intentions because He will protect me.
I’m not going to lie; that put me to tears.
God’s plan is great; He is intelligent in a way that I could never, ever comprehend. He knew exactly how to humble a heart as proud as mine and an ego as conflated as mine.
What’s frightening, though, is that in a split second, a proud or ego-driven thought switched my entire heartset back to how it was before.
Witnessing this brought me to another realization that is just as important as the fact that I am to have pure intentions:
that I cannot have pure intentions, cannot truly love, and cannot truly forgive without God’s power.
As a lowly human being, I simply cannot.
So it’s not about praying once, repenting once, seeing the truth once and then being good to go for the rest of one’s life.
It’s about taking up the cross every day — every morning, every hour, every minute. In less figurative terms, I believe this means 2 things:
- Asking God everyday to give you the ability to have pure intentions, love for all, and to forgive every single person you feel hurt by.
- Repenting everyday of the ways you’ve failed to do so.
And I want to say that “repent” can sound like a scary word. But what is easy to forget is the fact that we’re already forgiven. When we remember that, we experience what true love is all over again.
9/19/23 morning
This morning, I came across Luke 9:23–27:
“If anyone would come after me (Jesus Christ), he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?” (Luke 9:23–27)
The quote “take up his cross daily” could be interpreted in different ways. The interpretation could be: 1. that one must exert the initial effort of “taking up their cross” every day or 2. that one does not necessarily have to exert that initial effort every single day, but just needs to continue carrying that cross day after day. I’m not sure which one is meant to be correct, or if either could be correct depending on the reader. But I want to compare the concept of taking up the cross with asking God for strength and repenting every day, and say that the first interpretation would apply here.
Love you all.
Xoxo,
Kristen
