Dec 30, 2022My New Year’s resolution is to NOT be accidentally turned into a llamaBut if I decide to become one on purpose, that is ok. — 2022 was a wild ride in many ways. I grew and made changes in my life. I fell down many times and got back up. I tried my best to show up for people, and people showed up for me too on occasion. But now, I am tired. Personal growth…Llamas4 min readLlamas4 min read
Dec 12, 2022Alternate endings to TV shows of my youth that would have given me a way more realistic outlook on lifeGet in losers, we are making our childhood faves a lot bleaker!! — Philosopher Theodor Adorno once claimed that “Art has truth as the semblance of the illusionless,” and if this is true then my favourite TV shows growing up were not art — a thing I didn’t need an early 20th century philosopher to tell me, actually. I have been thinking a…Pop Culture11 min readPop Culture11 min read
Jul 12, 2022Sometimes when I feel anxious, I remind myself that the entire universe is most likely a projection of a Boltzmann brain and none of this is real, and then I feel much worseI do not recommend this! Don’t do it! — Ours is an era of multiple ongoing catastrophes, and I have certainly not been immune to feeling the mental health impacts of widespread societal chaos lately. That’s why, when my therapist suggested (ok, pleaded) I try mindfulness or meditation or something of the sort, I immediately agreed. However, I have…Humor4 min readHumor4 min read
Oct 21, 2019Member-onlyForget the Cool Girl or Gone Girl: To get the guy in 2019, you need to be a Silt GirlWhen the strain of holding back all of your emotions and eventually vanishing from your own life finally becomes too much, simply melt down into a fine silt and spend the rest of your life cooling slowly at the base of a volcano or the bottom of the sea ;) — Dating in 2019 is hard. I mean it’s always been hard, but the convergence of online dating with the rethinking of long-held societal attitudes on love, sex, and marriage has resulted in an increasingly confused dating landscape. (Translation: this shit suckssssss.)Dating6 min readDating6 min read
Jul 1, 2019Member-onlyNeil Diamond must apologize for the pain he’s caused all the CarolinesSince June 1969, good times don’t seem so good for a Caroline — There was always something different about my friend Caroline. She seemed wistful, as if something had been taken from her early in life, as if she were carrying a burden that no one who wasn’t named Caroline could ever truly understand. It was only as I grew older and came…Humor5 min readHumor5 min read
May 21, 2019I am unique because I didn’t watch Game of ThronesBy basing my identity on my complete disregard for a stupid dumb television show, I have managed to subvert society’s expectations. — The furious discussion about Game of Thrones will rage on for at least another 24 hours across Twitter, most group chats with people you went to high school with, and water coolers surrounded by bored and depressed office workers across the world (i.e. North America, Europe[?]).Game Of Thrones3 min readGame Of Thrones3 min read
Apr 18, 2019Things I have time to do now that I am soberSobriety is beautiful and messy and challenging. It also leaves most recovering addicts with a whole lot of time. For me this was time I used to spend sitting at home drinking, and when I got sober, I realized I now had many hours of lucidity to fill. Some folks…Sobriety3 min readSobriety3 min read
Mar 22, 2019Star Trek Feminist Alternate PlotlinesSpock shows his bonafides as an ally; Uhura says something intelligent; Troi realizes Riker is a fuccboi — Lieutenant Uhura says something intelligent, and the crew listens to her without interrupting. Based on the merit of her contributions, she is given a more meaningful role than glorified switchboard operator and person who drives the action forward by pointing out what’s happening and asking “what is it, Captain?”Star Trek3 min readStar Trek3 min read
Mar 14, 2019Buzzfeed quiz ideas for anyone looking to accelerate the demise of our speciesAre you more Hannah Montana or Miley Stewart? — Which Trump family member are you most like according to how often you cry yourself to sleep at night? Tell us how how many hours per day you spend doing Buzzfeed quizzes in a futile attempt to distract yourself from the emptiness inside, and we’ll tell you which nail shape…Humor2 min readHumor2 min read
Mar 8, 2019Tips for celebrating International Women’s DayThey are our daughters, mothers, and wives. — On March 8th, women and men who are afraid of being labeled “unsupportive” even though they really don’t see the point of all this around the world will come together to cheer for the unique power and achievements of women throughout history and subtly imply that there is still more…3 min read3 min read
