Overcoming My Brain Turning Off

I don’t know how I don’t see it coming. I’ve collected my coffee, snack and self and meandered over to my desk. Internally, I’m planning all the things I’m going to knock off my to-do list today. It’s going to be great to see that cleared up a bit. But the moment I sit down, something else happens inside my brain. If I have any thoughts at all, they are lost in mix between the overwhelming chaos of too much to do and having literally no motivation to do any thing.
This is not what I want, but this is where I am now. I know I need to get started and that’ll properly be the crack of the whip I need. The moment I think about it, I feel myself spiraling towards distractions and procrastination. Whip.. well whip cream would be awesome on a Sundae. I should go get a Sundae. It should’ve stopped at just a creative blockage, but it never quite does.
Sometimes it creeps up as impostor syndrome, and I don’t feel like I’m really anybody qualified enough to be doing anything. Other times, I manage to give myself a hard case of the stupid. Imagine, being my monitor, just watching me stare blankly at you for hours and hours. It’s probably only a few minutes but time is relative… right? It’s no less creepy either way.
Fighting the lack of motivation to really dig myself out these ruts is really where my brain short circuits. I have a lot of thoughts like, “I have no idea what to do.” And, “How did I let so much work pile up, I’ll never get all this done.” and etc. etc.

Like this awesome guy over here:
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Sometimes you need a little reminder or somebody to say, “Put your fingers on the keyboard and stop whining.”
I need that a lot more often than I would like to admit. Sometimes I just want to wallow in my inability to turn my brain on. Maybe leave it off for a while. But like anybody in IT will tell you: When you have a problem you can’t solve, turn it off and turn it back on again.
I started today off, and to turn back on, I just start writing random things. Doesn’t have to be code. Doesn’t have to be work related. I just need my fingers to fly over the keyboard and make semi coherent sense of whatever I’m dealing with. It’s usually not pretty. It’s like I have this little demon in me that has A LOT to complain about. But I don’t. I’m okay. Sometimes I just need Groot to remind me to stop being a baby. Some people have actual galaxies to save and what have you.
It’s time to start today again. Let me turn my brain back on. Give my random notes a little structure. Sit up straighter, mostly because I paid a fortune for this ergonomic chair that I prefer to slouch in. Totally user error. I’d like to take this moment to stress one thing: You should listen to your brain. If I need to take time off because I’ve crammed too much in there and I need time to process, that is totally, 100% okay. But if this is just me, trying not do today, that is not okay. Take baby steps, put my fingers down on the keyboard and it’s never to late to try your day again. If in doubt, turn off and back on again.

