I Think

If I could take it back, I surely would, a thousand times over. I can’t. Once the venom is released, it can’t be pulled back. I am sorry, but I can’t take it back. Once a heart is broken, it can only be mended so many times until it changes, for better or worse. I’m still not sure where mine is at this point but it must be near the point of no return.

Words; mine, yours, ours, can either heal or hurt. Whether it’s intentional or otherwise, that’s the simple, truth. I think I’d rather it was intentional because that means there was at least some thought put into them before they were spoken, written, or posted. It hurts even more when something is put out there without the thought of another, whether it’s private or public. When you think, something is real and everlasting only to see or hear something that makes you realize you are only a stepping stone in the pond of life, it’s not an easy pill to swallow. It shatters what you thought was reality and makes you step back and think long and hard. I’ve done that. I’ve been doing that a lot lately. For better or worse, here’s what I think. This has zero professional credibility behind it, I’m not a shrink or Dr. Phil or Oprah, only what I think is a human being with the full range of emotions and whatever experience I’ve gained up until now.

I think we should all pause before we speak, me the most. I think we should all be open about our feelings. My generation, especially the men, have been trained to bottle it up and not show too much emotion. That’s how we get ourselves into trouble. I think we should love freely. I think we should not be afraid to ask for what we want but also be ok if we don’t get what we want. Like the Stones said, “You can’t always get what you want…” I think we should open ourselves and know that when we do, we may be hurt but we may also finally be able to get what we are looking for. I think we should help others before ourselves. I think we should tell those that we love, that we love them, as often as we can. I think we should get into nature, and plant rose bushes, and try and help each other grow, as well as mend. I think we should give up on jealousy and pride and just be.

I think a lot of other things. I think of things that keep me up at night. I think of things that help me get up in the morning. I think of me. I think of you. I think of us. I try and think, but I don’t do it before I speak sometimes and have learned that it is quite easy to fit a size 10 ½ shoe firmly in my mouth with no problem. I think I should keep my shoes clean since I always seem to put them in my mouth. I think, therefore, I am.