For SE
I remember the time I sent you the song “Elephant” by Jason Isbell.
You didn’t respond right away, and I spent a couple of sleepless nights worrying I’d made you sad.
So I sent you another message apologizing for my “mistake.”
And you replied, “Stop it. I haven’t had time to listen to it yet.”
Relieved, I begged you not to. Or, only after my warning: Sometimes sad songs help me. Maybe you like them too?
And then I quipped, “I figured you can’t get but so mad at me since it was coming from a girl with no nipples.”
Immediately, my phone rang. It was you, laughing hysterically. Just laughing and laughing. And we both laughed for a solid five minutes at the absurdity of it all.
Then you assured me that I was part of “the cancer club” and could do no wrong in your eyes. I was free to say whatever I was thinking. That was an enormous gift.
I miss you. I miss your presence here on this earth. I miss your silliness and sharp wit. I miss you liking my tit pics. I miss your stupid, lazy eye. I miss our inane Snapchat exchanges. Goddamn, you were so funny.
You were the coolest girl I’ve ever met, and by far the most beautiful in so many ways.
Someone told me that in the end, you went peacefully in your sleep. I hope more than anything this is true.
