Some of you might recognize yourselves

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Photo by Christopher Jolly on Unsplash

Everybody knows that hanging out inside an Ikea store is hands down, the best way to burn an entire day.

Don’t ever go to Ikea if you have a to-do list because once you come across the display room where they’ve stuffed an entire functioning home into 322 square feet, you’ll never get out of the store. It’s mesmerizing.

I have a love/hate relationship with Ikea.

First of all, there’s only one store in my city and it’s clear across town. It’s a whole forty-minute field trip to get there.

Second, since it’s Covid right now the Ikea food court is closed. This makes the journey a lot less fun knowing there will be no $2.99 smorgasbord with meatballs at the end of the labyrinth. …

Proof that weight loss is all in your head

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Photo by Jason Dent on Unsplash

Keto supporters might hate hearing this but for the last month and a half I’ve been eating plenty of bread and potatoes, and I’ve lost ten pounds.

I have never been on a mindful weight loss journey nor have I been a dieter. However, Covid helped me put on a few pounds that seemed to be more stubborn than a five-year-old who doesn’t want to eat his mushrooms.

Trust me, I wanted Keto to be my guiding light because who doesn’t want permission to eat more fat? …

The obstacle that stands in the way of masterpieces

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Photo by Artsy Vibes on Unsplash

You know those movies where people feel a deep inner calling to go find themselves?

Like in the movie Eat Pray Love, the woman embarks on a soul-searching journey around the world to figure out exactly who she is, what drives her, and what she truly wants out of life.

Or like in the movie Lion, where a man was adopted as a small child in India and feels compelled to go find his roots and figure out his life story.

I wonder how many of us have best-selling novels and movie scripts inside our hearts and minds, waiting to appear as words on actual pages. Pages that readers can’t stop turning. …

And their inability to manage millions of dollars is insulting

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Photo by Lynda Sanchez on Unsplash

The earnings of athletes are really none of my business until news media makes it everyone’s business.

Right now, today, I’m talking about Evander Kane and his $49M contract to play hockey with the San Jose Sharks. Yes, I said Million. 49 of them. And if the news reports are accurate that salary pays for him to work just 82 days in a typical hockey season.

“A typical season includes 82 regular season games. The current season has 56 games scheduled (due to Covid)” — Courtesy of

I’d do just about anything for 82 days to get $49 Million.

Why am I talking about Evander Kane right now? Because he is currently filing for bankruptcy at the ripe old age of twenty-nine and he isn’t alone. …

Confronting our significance in the bigger picture

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Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Unsplash

Every once in a while I read a single line in a single story and it will trigger an entire thought process. I have trouble putting my thoughts into words lately, especially when the thought feels abstract, but let me try.

Have you ever considered that where you are means absolutely nothing to billions of people? I don’t mean where you’re at in life but where you physically are as a dot on the globe.

As a lover of travel, I have mostly chosen to blaze the trails alone. Each time I embark on a solo adventure my soul nearly explodes with anticipation of the unknown, and a little bit of adrenaline. …

You can truly go viral in 24 hours

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Photo by Thomas Bormans on Unsplash

I must admit I don’t even know what I’m doing on News Break. I’m just there because Jordan Fraser and Sherry McGuinn are.

I don’t understand the platform at all. I had to publicly ask on Twitter how to even find people to follow over there. Now I follow Kim McKinney too, because she answered my Twitter post.

Those are the only three writers I know that I could find and even if I found more of you, I wouldn’t read you over there because you write here.

News Break is like a labyrinth to me, I’m not joking…I have no idea how to use it except to copy and paste previously published articles. …

A new twist on using a pen name

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Photo by Wenceslas Lejeune on Unsplash

Call this a plug for myself or call it straight up ‘crazy mother,’ but I’m now writing here on Medium, as a boy. Not just any boy, but the coolest boy I’ve ever known.

Over the past few months I’ve struggled really hard with finding inspiration to write. The only stories I seem to be able to come up with are about death…obviously. It is consuming me at the moment.

So, I gave into it and stopped pressuring myself. …

The catch is simple unless you make it complicated

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Image by tigerlily713 from Pixabay

Humans are complicated creatures. We can never just look something in the face, see it for what it is, and make a choice. We have to analyze the crap out of everything before making a single move, often keeping ourselves paralyzed.

Are you too complicated to make it work or would this be an easy choice for you?

You are guaranteed $50,000 one month from today, to use and spend however you like.

  • You must leave the city where you currently live.
  • You can only take two large suitcases.
  • You can only take one companion.
  • This is a permanent move.

Could you make this work within a month’s time?


I don’t even care what the humans are doing anymore

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Image by author

It’s official. I have climbed onto the pedestal of, “I’m better than the rest of the people because I have a dog.”

There are plenty of dog owners who like their dogs enough to feed them and throw a ball. Then there are those of us who love our dogs more than the air we breathe and would rather not make time for humans anymore.

I knew it had become official when I’d go into work and ignore everyone while making a beeline toward the other guy who lives and breathes for his dog.

How do I know he lives for his dog? Because he doesn’t want kids. Instead he throws birthday “paw-ties” for his golden retriever, Louie. My dog is only nine months old, I haven’t had any paw-ties…yet. …

The only person you owe right now is yourself

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Photo by Austin Neill on Unsplash

Christmas is one big bundle of obligation at the best of times. Add 2020 into the mix and we have one magnificent ball of clusterfuckery.

We’re all trying to figure out how to make this holiday season as normal as possible when we know that normal doesn’t exist right now. Let’s not pretend that millions of people haven’t lost jobs, livelihoods, and loved ones this year.

Instead, let’s call it like we see it and admit that nobody’s Christmas will be as merry as it usually is. …


Kristi Keller

Write like no one is reading, because it might be true. Never let the truth stand in the way of a good story.

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