D21 – Mixed emotions

You know these days, waking up feeling fly but not, all at the same time? I woke up like this today. I feel so confident in my training and enjoy every single bit of it a thousand times more than before I was encouraged to change my approach. I feel tired, exhausted before going to bet at night, wake up starving, smiling and ready to boom the day. This is me feeling fly, having used my body to a degree where it can tell me what it actually needs to get going; Food, rest, and good vibes.

When things changes in my life for the better or the worse I tend to have a need for thinking it all through. Over, and over, and over again. Asking myself if what I did was enough, too much, right or wrong. Did I do anything, directly or indirectly, to cause this change? Should I’ve changed something myself to have prevented the change? Or should I see it as an open door, a new beginning, instead of a closed one? This is not. All the tricky games my mind plays with me, the doubt, insecurity, and less confidence in myself puts me on mute. For a while I’ll be there physically but not mentally, only sometimes, if I manage to pause what’s going on in my head to enjoy the vibe in a desperate attempt to find the fly again. If not, then at least for the time being.

I guess this is quite normal, the ups and downs hand in hand through our lives, and do not necessarily view this as a bad thing. In my opinion reflection is good, self reflection even better, as it helps you put a lot of things and situations into perspective, understanding the experiences you have, how and why you reacted to them as you did or didn’t. Maybe even capable of helping others understand theirs, cause we’re in this together, aren’t we?

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