D4 — Family

Travelling from London to Turkey was an easy tour, no delays, no interruptions — Exactly as I prefer travels to be and a pleasant beginning to a week of vacay vibes and family fun. My father picked me up at the airport when finally arrived, and after a 40 minutes drive a bit up the mountain, we arrived at this beautiful house overlooking both the valley and the sea — A mesmerizing view offering some kind of piece for the eye of a troubled and conscious mind as mine can sometimes be, when details or smaller matters are thought to much through.

Caught be the horizon I found myself in a calm and neutral place 2,300 miles away from the busy streets of London, finally surrounded by my beloved family. And it felt so good, God it felt good! Standing there, fascinated by the view, I slightly felt how the many doubts, confusing thoughts, and concerns I’d carried disappeared all at one, so I couldn’t help myself and smiled physically, most importantly mentally.

I appreciate and care a lot about my family, and to me, the fact that my parents are divorced doesn’t really matter, as family will always be one, regardless of the amount of bonds magically binding and holding it together. Thus, I’m no family person, and don’t get me wrong here, my family means the world to me, but doesn’t have to be the world, if that makes sense? We laugh, discuss, learn from and support one another while creating the most amazing memories for our eyes, our minds, and our hearts to remember and praise at later times. However, as lovely as spending time with family is, being away, watching everything from an indefinable sideline and through social media suits me well. I feel closer to them, the longer I’m away, and maybe the feeling of missing them, their individual scent, laugh, smile and personality is what works for me, yet meeting my indirect need of having them around to “protect” me in this new setting my London life is.

With a mindset like this I do tend to consider if I’m being arrogant, neglecting their needs to see, converse, and laugh with me, or if my honesty about the deep need I have for being independent is appreciated for them to understand the emotions I express and way I behave? I don’t know, I’ve never asked, maybe it’s about time. Once again it’s about finding courage, not letting fear of what could happen make nothing happen, but chasing the unknown for it to be known. Of course, as must be known to most, this is easier said than done, and up to each one of us to decide whether we want to act upon our curiosity or forever let it be. I know my answer and will progressively fight the fear and strive for a greater insight in how I affect others around me as well as how they, and my surroundings in general, have an impact on me.