Stop being so mean to you! Photo by Mikail Duran on Unsplash

Why You Need to Stop Talking to Yourself Like That Right Now

It’s crazy how much it actually costs you!

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If your best friend said to you the same things you say to yourself, you would DUMP them!

Isn’t it true?

Would you let anyone else talk to you the way you talk to yourself?

No.

Of course not.

What you say to yourself is RUDE!

Some of the stuff you say to yourself is UNFORGIVABLE.

You MUST stop this!

You must!

It is doing damage way beyond what you are aware of.

Your own negative self-talk increases stress.

Stress increases the production of cortisol.

A little cortisol is a good and necessary thing.

But too much causes inflammation in the body.

You know what that means?

It means your body is on fire inside.

That doesn’t sound good, does it?

You’re right.

It’s not good.

“The hormones of stress, in the long term, push the genetic buttons that create disease.” — Dr. Joe Dispenza

And this is a direct result of all the intolerant and rude things

you are saying to YOURSELF!

Could you, just for today, try a little kindness?

Would it kill you to be nice to yourself for a whole day?

Take the challenge!

Declare to yourself:

“I’m going to be kind and patient with myself today.

Today, I’m going to be my own best friend.”

If it works out well,

consider extending this another day,

and another day,

and another day

until you create a habit of being loving and kind

to yourself.

Then watch what happens.

Stuff gets done.

You try more stuff.

You fail more, because it is safe to take some risks.

You learn more.

That leads to success.

And success has momentum.

And leads to more failure,

which leads to more success.

But you won’t risk failure

if you know you are going to beat yourself up more.

You don’t need more criticism.

You don’t need more intolerance.

“Every time we have a thought, we make a chemical. If we have good thoughts, we make chemicals that make us feel good. And if we have negative thoughts, we make chemicals that make us feel exactly the way we are thinking.” — Dr. Joe Dispenza

You need support and encouragement. And the best place to get that is to give it to yourself.

Another thing to remember: your thoughts create your feelings.

So when your thoughts about yourself are critical,

unkind,

unforgiving toward your mistakes

and weaknesses,

judgemental,

and mean,

well then,

how do you think you are going to feel?

You’re going to feel BAD!

You’re going to feel “not good enough,”

“unworthy,”

“helpless,”

“hopeless,”

“powerless.”

And what action to do you take when you feel that way?

I don’t know,

but I am sure whatever it is,

those actions will not take you where you want to go.

Probably you try to distract yourself from the bad feelings

with overeating,

over-drinking,

legal and illegal drug use,

binge-watching television,

gambling,

shopping.

You know,

the addictive habits you use to feel better.

When all it would really take to feel better is just speak kindly to yourself.

Accept your weaknesses.

Encourage yourself.

Give yourself some unconditional LOVE.

Then what would happen?

You make a mistake.

Instead of beating yourself up

you tell yourself:

“It’s okay. You did your best. Try again. You can do it. You’re going to make it.”

What feelings arise when you speak to yourself like that?

Gratitude?

Humility?

Calm?

What actions arise from those kinds of feelings?

Probably you try again.

And this time, maybe you’ll make it.

Or not.

And if not, there is some space to learn something.

Because you are not beating yourself up anymore.

You want to experience your own greatness.

Everybody does!

You want to experience your own greatness. Everybody does. Photo by Charles Deluvio 🇵🇭🇨🇦 on Unsplash

The best way to do that is to set an impossible goal.

Why?

Because to achieve an impossible goal

you have to make it okay to fail.

And the only way to make it okay to fail is to speak kindly to yourself when it happens.

Then you can learn what you need to learn,

and try again.

Then, you either succeed, or learn more.

Either way you win.

You like winning, right?

When you speak lovingly to yourself

you let yourself win.

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I’ve created a video training for achieving your goals, immediately. You set an impossible goal, your life will change very quickly.

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Kristin van Tilburg

Writer for Thought Catalog and Publishous. ****** Guiding savvy Entrepreneurs from good to great in their businesses with the CSM process.