Discipline is pushing forward when I want to stop
Apparently, the 70’s create a bit of struggle. The writing process evolves from adrenaline inducing to exhausting and monotonous. I love the beginning of a project, I struggled with the 30’s because the end seemed so far away, and now I am struggling through the 70’s, because this project that I have grown to love dearly, is wearing me out.
Maybe, the exhaustion is a mixture of finals, work, and managing my podcast. In fact, I am certain that is the source of my exhaustion. However, I am only two weeks away from finishing my finals, which will significantly reduce my workload, and this constant feeling of a looming deadline. I need a vacation.
A friend, the same one who inspired me to start project, gave me a bit of advice, because she too struggled with the 70’s. She told me to experiment with my story telling, and to try new formats. So, today, to create new adrenaline, I am posting a poem. I write rarely write with rhyme or rhythm, but today seems like a good day.
So here it is:
Today I woke up in a dream.
Of course it was a dream, because
everything I hoped for was suddenly a reality.
Between the hard work and failures
somehow I created success
I found love. I found favor.
I patiently wait, though,
for everything thing to fade,
for my eyes to open slow,
and realize my dreams are dreams
and reality is full struggle
disappointments and deep regrets seem to be the theme
I have learned how to get pushed down
I have learned to lose to unfair adversaries
I have learned to smile to hide my frowns
I have swallowed countless tears with a deep breath
I have gasped as my heart falls from my chest
I have grinned while staring right at death
Maybe I have been in the valley to long
I believed life was only a series of battles,
but occasionally I vacation on the mountain tops
I am still dancing in this dream
maybe it is not a dream
I might just be experiencing a more pleasant reality
I guess every warrior needs to rest
But I am ready
I will be ready for what is next.