This was really great for me to read, Cat, thank you. I’m sort of the opposite. I’ve thought I’d be a mother my entire life. I’ve felt the womb clenches, nipple twitches(!),desire, even cravings for a baby. I was the “neighborhood babysitter” at 10 yrs old! Worked as a pediatric nurse, volunteered holding babies in the ICU to rock them to sleep. Yet, I didn’t have them. Not in my 20's, not in my 30's…and now, I’m 42 and childless.

I’m now embracing a new perspective, I might be OK without children. Maybe. But one thing I didn’t realize until reading your post us that I’ve put enormous pressure on myself to “be a MORE productive member of society” since I’m not having children. As you stated, “To deliver humans that are kind and giving and socially accountable is a substantial accomplishment. I’ve always thought, if I’m not going to do that, I better have something else to show for my life — something that marks my contribution to my fellows.” I mean, that’s my belief as well! I’m relieved to have had you spell it out because it’s bullshit. I’m learning that MY truth is being the most authentic person I can be; friend, sister, daughter, Aunt, partner. I had a therapist once who said, Life is about relationships, period. Like, how we are to each other. Like your friend said, you impacted her life. And mine. That, my friend, should be enough.

Thanks Cat! I love your brain.