I think you’re saying that people shouldn’t lose sight of valid arguments in situations where the arguer uses language the writer perceives as a microaggression.
That sometimes, saying “hey, you’re ‘splaining at me” is a way to get out of having to reply to the facts of the argument.
The problem is that, in many cases, the mansplaining can be so insanely condescending that it’s HE who’s shutting down the debate. It’s hard to believe that a full-bore mansplainer is after real dialogue; it comes across as “Here’s why you’re wrong, period, end of story. Go ahead and TRY to prove me wrong.” No, thanks.
Certainly there are situations where the ‘splaining is subtle and the ‘splainer is totally unaware, didn’t mean to be condescending, and actually does want to engage in a conversation. But…ugh.
My point is that it’s exhausting. It’s exhausting to have to put up with it *literally* every day, and we – the ‘splainers and the ‘splained at – are not going to get past this until it’s consistently addressed. If the original argument suffers as a result, that sucks. But so does having to conform to a mode of conversation that’s stacked against me just because.