Instant Gratification, Good or Bad for you?
In this age of instant gratification, we are the consumers of a rich variety of products and services that are available to us at the click of a button. We have Amazon Prime to deliver us products of our choice, mostly within a day and Swiggy and Zomato that deliver food in minutes. With video on demand service platforms such as Netflix and Amazon video being the recent switch from cable for the hordes of urban millennials and gen Z, we don’t even need to wait for a week or even a day for our favourite show to release their next episode.
Now, these have definitely made our lives a lot easier than we could have imagined a few years back, but these choices do come with a hidden cost. When everything is available to us at such ease, it enables an instant gratification of our desires on a constant basis. Instant gratification means we feel the urge to fulfil our desires instantaneously.
Why do you think children these days often complain about boredom? If you interact with children, you will have surely heard them say, “I am bored, I don’t know what to do”. Since these gen Z children were born, they have been bombarded with things to do, things to watch, things to hear. Yes, they learn a lot from these stimulants but they also yearn a lot in this process. Their senses are constantly stimulated since they are born, giving instant gratification a kickstart in their lives. They never experience what it is to do nothing, to while away time and not expect anything to happen in the next few minutes or hours. They are not given an opportunity to learn delayed gratification.
Well, one might question, ‘Is there really any harm in wanting more?’ While from a spiritual and moral standpoint the answer is yes because these desires are touted to be the root of all evil and keep you in a constant loop of desires thus keeping you unsatisfied, which is the cause of your suffering. The problem with instant gratification is that it does not end once your needs are met, it causes a further need for instant gratification, thus keeps you unsatisfied all the more. You are then stuck in a cycle of wants that looks like the one below:
You might say, ‘I am not spiritual or even moral for that matter’, but you definitely don’t want to be unsatisfied for life.
There are psychological implications of instant gratification, that have a deeper role to play in keeping you unsatisfied. Instant gratification makes us want more of what we are getting because psychologically we know that the object of our want is available. Moreover, when our desires are met, our brain releases dopamine in our body. Dopamine is our brains reward system, hence its release makes us feel good. Have you ever experienced watching an episode of your favourite show on Netflix and wanting to watch more and more? If you did not have a job to report to, you’d surely finish that season in one night itself. While dopamine is essential for our bodies as it helps us achieve things and gives us a positivity boost, its continuous release keeps us wanting more and this is linked to addictions and several mental disorders such as ADHD and schizophrenia.
Instant gratification is also used by businesses to lure you into buying their products by tapping into your psyche. They make you feel inadequate, spur your desires to meet your inadequacy and wants and coax you into buying their products and services. You are instantly gratified. When they are successful in doing so, you positively contribute to the economy but negatively contribute to your personal finances and well-being. If we measure our well-being by how much we possess, we surely will have a high score but well-being is much more than that. It is how satisfied and content we feel both physically and mentally. So, your need for instant gratification can be another tool for marketing agencies to use against you.
In all my arguments against instant gratification, I am not dissuading you from fulfilling your wants. We are humans and we are evolutionarily and psychologically wired to do that. We do have moments of weakness and it’s okay to pamper ourselves sometimes. It is alright to want something if you feel like. Sometimes it may even be beneficial for us to fulfil instant gratification. For instance, if you are dehydrated and you need water at that moment, not getting water will have negative implications on your body and it is best you try to fulfil your need instantly. And here is where the difference comes, in fulfilling instant gratifications for your wants versus your needs. Prioritising instant gratification for needs will never harm you but be wary of it in case of your wants. Being aware is the first step towards acknowledging and dealing with it. It is not always easy to get rid of the desire of instant gratification, it’s a long journey and we need to be patient.
If I have convinced you that instant gratification harms you more than it does good, what do you do next? Like I mentioned above, start with being aware of your desires for instant gratification. Then, pick any one desire you want to work on and start with delaying your gratification (fulfilment) for that desire for as little as 15 minutes. So, if you would watch the next episode of the series you are watching instantly after your current episode, put off the TV, go get some work done and then resume the next episode after a 15 minutes break. When starting new habits, small successes will keep you motivated to continue the new habit. If we try to aim too high in the very beginning, we often collapse that much deeper and end up giving up on that habit altogether. With success in delaying your gratification by 15 minutes, slowly increase the delay, until you are convinced that you can successfully delay your gratifications. Then move to other wants and desires you want to learn to delay. You will observe that most likely, your delayed gratification in one want will translate into delayed gratification in other wants gradually. While practicing delayed gratification, it is important to do it consistently. Reflect on your actions and ask someone whom you can trust to hold you accountable.
‘You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.’ John Maxwell
If you feel you may be on the verge of addiction or way ahead into it, and your efforts seem to be failing, seek professional help. Not giving into temptations even for little longer than you would normally do will make a difference in the long run.
If you have children and you want them to practice delayed gratification, begin early on by not giving them a constant external stimulus. Let them play, explore and create on their own toys from available material rather than with the help of external objects like mobile videos and complex toys. As long as the child is able to create joy for themselves by themself, the external stimulus will be required the least. Talk to them, play with them and explore your surroundings with them.
If your children are older and are already used to being instantly gratified, use similar steps as mentioned above for adults, and delay their gratification little by little. Learn conscious breathing along with them, it will calm you and your child and gradually reduce the need to be gratified constantly. Let them get bored sometimes, they will boost their creativity by finding innovative ways to kills their boredom and will get a life long lesson on how everything doesn’t come with an entertainment package.
