Repeat Until Seen
I find it from direct experience, that when I repeatedly say that I don’t like some quality in somebody, most often it means I don’t like this exact quality in myself.
This quality belongs to some of my shadow sub-personalities. I fear that I have this quality and I actively reject any possibility that I may have it.
But I do have it! And this quality is acted out without conscious awareness, sneaky, from the shadows, with strong resistance to being seen.
The key to get out of this is to pay careful attentions to repetitions. If I say something repeatedly towards others it is extremely likely I should look for it in myself.
I find it from my studies that this is true for all human beings.