Every dream is like this, and feels like this regardless of the medium (art/writing/music/gaming/etc), if Medium posts are to be trusted.
Or quoting Neil Gaiman’s Morpheus: the price of getting what you want, is getting what once you wanted.
Or quoting Tsugumi Ohba’s Takagi Akito: I will regret if I follow my dreams anf fail. But I’ll regret it more if I don’t even try.
It also seem that men struggle as well with this, without denying that there’s a disgusting, apelike and retrograde Despicable Hims on every entertainment industry, most of which are being properly exposed thanks to personal stories such as yours, the MeToo movement and so on.
Like we say in Argentina: con La Verdad no ofendo ni temo.
The sexism is real. On every strata, on every industry. How do we make sure the overall rules are being rewritten, to benefit everyone?
Toxic communities always existed, but few subsist on high-reactive-octane poison as videogames’ ones are, I’m certain.
So when something like this happens, no one there ever think on forgiveness, understanding, or individualizing, and everybody feel as entitled because reasons to pick a side and turn everything into a(nother) polarized war.
And I believe we should be careful, because everyone related to this industry (or their dreams’ industry, for that matter) might easily get the whole message wrong.
Regardless of gender, real pros develop what it takes to face (and ace) their dreams.
Guts are unisex.