What does it mean to be a tech company? Some ideas all involving curse words:

• Making shit that’s “the shit” (Apple)
• Connecting the shit and skimming data out because there’s money in it, maybe (Facebook)
• Making shit that makes the other shit work but otherwise idgaf (Cisco)
• Flailing madly around because your userbase turned your sort of silly shit product into something usable but not monetizable (Twitter)
• Making games, because every other freaking company sells “services” or some shit and not “software” anymore (too many to list)
• Making everything but doing a pretty shitty job of it but still doing OK because of a 30 year old lock in that really can’t last forever (Microsoft)
• Making some really really good shit then spinning off a bunch of other products that are sort of meh but I mean that original product tho (Google)
• Selling shit that has wifi for some reason (IOT)
• Selling shit to stalk yourself with (Fitbit)
• Selling shit that’s TEH FUTURES OF _________ but doesn’t actually work (Theranos)
• Selling creepy dystopian shit to anyone who works at any of the above and doesn’t in fact involve tech at all (Soylent)

Conclusion: “tech company” means nothing nowindays unless you’re gunning for an IPO or trying to get noticed by Y Combinator.