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Doctors infuriate me…

How can they be so smart and dumb at the same time?

This is the story of my life. Me knowing something is wrong, don’t know what it is, but I know it’s something. And Doctor after Doctor after Doctor saying it was nothing, that I was too young, or that it was all in my head. In my head? Really? Cause it’s my abdomen that hurts and no, I’m not constipated. Two of them even had the nerve to suggest a psychiatrist. I’ve almost died twice because of those doctors. Once when I was 15 — after almost two years, ended up in immediate emergency surgery, cut open hip bone to hip bone. And the second when I was 22 — after four years, I ended up loosing my womb, my precious, life giving, I am woman, womb (and cervix & both ovaries). Getting thrown into menopause at 22 was/is a whole lotta fun.

I guess I am happy to be alive, I have admit.

There is much I would have missed out on. It’s just…had they listened…..just listened, it might not have gotten so bad that I lost body parts over it. And that maybe now at 38 I wouldn’t have osteoporosis, among other complications of early onset osteoporosis.

Now I get to go through it all over again…..

Except my life isn’t in danger, that I know of. At least this time around I have a great Doctor that has not given up trying to figure out why my legs are saying a big fuck you to my demanding brain. I’m glad she believed me from the get go so hopefully we figure it out before it causes permanent damage — it’s not like I can hike, ride my bike, do yoga or surf in a wheelchair. Oh how I miss doing all of those activities — sometime, someway I will heal and enjoy each and every one of them. Even that much more, now that I have a much more deeper respect for this sack of cells aka my body, getting me from point A to point B. 💚

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