Zone out, Experience Self-Love

Have you ever pictured yourself, disconnected from the world? Eyes closed or open, practicing diaphragmatic breathing. We’ve all heard of this familiar triade before, The more we share our thoughts with the world through social media, text or any other form of technology, the less of the world we actually see. The evolution of technology has brought us to assume that introverts are anti-social. I believe this is true, I value my alone time. I disconnect from the world by turning off my iphone to do not disturb mode, turn off celluar data and iMessage, just to reassure myself that I will be idle temporarily. After meditating, I slipped on my running shoes and just ran, to escape from my thoughts and emotions, to recollect myself. As I was running, I made eye contact with someone who was not plugged into headphones. I stopped running, walked and smiled slightly at him. We looked at each other and knowingly smiled about being humble visionaries. He stopped me to say good morning and asked me if I was cold. I replied, “Freezing but my irregular heartbeats will manage”. I sat down, we ranted, discussed our frustration with among ourselves and the world. One thing I learned from him was, “Love yourself, and accept yourself. Understand that it is not your weight, hair color, choice of your clothing, or the funny way your stomach slouches when you slouch down makes you any less attractive than anybody else.” Possibly, I disconnect myself from my phone to avoid conversation, discomfort, confusion from people I care for. Every time I think about the people I care for, I can feel my stomach clench when I think about the future and why I tend to distance myself out, I have actively stop my mind from thinking about the vast marjority of my fears and doubts, but I will remain silent. I’m afraid to speak about my everyday thoughts that impact my life, because it’s just a chance for people to speak their opinion. I have to love myself first, it is the only choice I will forcefully make. I will continue to live my life, submissively to the expectations society puts upon me. Not everyone will love me, and not everyone has to. I can start off with loving myself, to feel worthy, and confident. I will believe that I am ready to another again when I accomplish this goal.