It was 10pm on Friday when I closed my office door behind me. I was working instead of celebrating my friend’s birthday down the street.
I was leaning in with my whole being and working hard. I was exhausted, stressed, bullied, under paid and under appreciated.
I was in a wrong role. I wasn't thriving.
I was stuck.
It wasn't the first time I worked that late…
In January of 2012, I returned to work from short term disability after a surgery, a week earlier than the doctor wished. Not only did I skip necessary recovery time but I also put in 170 hours of work in two weeks. The only thing I remember from the late night drives home is being dizzy and having a hard time staying focused and in my lane. But that didn't stop me. By the time I got to Vegas for a work trip, I couldn't move my neck. I was stiff as a rock and a shell of a person. Regardless of all that, I still kicked ass and pulled myself together to present in front of 100+ people.
Travel is my reboot button…
I experienced a hard reboot last summer when I traveled to China. The trip, like all trips, allowed me to step away from the situation and see the bigger picture and reflect in ways you can’t when you’re in the middle of the storm.
When I returned, I worked hard to change my situation. The more I fought to make things better, the worse it got. I gave it my all one too many times.
Then things got worse and I became physically ill.
First the flu, then a severe allergic reaction that landed me in the ER in the middle of the night.
It was my body’s way of saying enough is enough.
This time, however, I listened.
Feeling stuck is a choice and I chose to get unstuck by moving on.
I still work late, sometimes into the wee hours of the morning. It’s different this time around because I’m doing what I love and what I’ve wanted to do for years. It’s exciting and terrifying. I’m responsible for my own happiness and future. I’m working harder than ever and couldn’t be happier.
Amazing how much can change in a year.
I am unstuck.