Picture by: Kshitij Gotiwale

Undecided//: An Anxiety about Emotions.

A book review.

I don’t really write book reviews because they have so many interpretations for everyone, but I really have to for this one. So sit down.
Undecided is a far more nuanced take on the anxiety of emotions. It’s basically an art graduation project, and it’s just rare that you see a graduation project with such purpose, so methodically and so effective. His book gives us a weird, almost dreamlike temporal quality, which is very rare in painting, let alone digital art.

“The refrain brings us back to our first experience of entering that poetic world, making it immediate and at the same time renewing it.” ~ Andrei Tarkovsky (Sculpting in time)
Krishna meets Karna by Jayesh Joshi

My favorite illustration is ‘Krishna meets Karna’. The illustration captures the wrap of emotions within them, Krishna being the limitless God, shows emotions of being frail, helplessness and even broken when denied of something by Karna, the flower and his eyes representing mortality in him, the perspective of the sketch is that of someone we look down to, someone like a beggar, or someone being stipped off of their godliness. Karna, on the other hand, is confronted with the truth about his past, about how he was left to die by his mother when he was born, something that is considered as bad in the moral world, something hellish being done in heaven. Karna bleeding his heart out, quite literally, depicting how he’s letting go of his blood, which let go of him, rather than embracing emotions, urging to master it.

In this data-driven culture, where more data equals more truth, the greatest anxiety of all is the loss of information, something like Mahabharata of which we know so little, maybe it happened, maybe not, maybe it’s just fiction turned into non-fiction by time. Undecided “connects the ties” between this, linking mortal to immortal, human to god.

In the end, maybe it’s okay to expect and accept sadness, joy, and grief, embrace our emotions rather than trying to master them. It’s perfectly alright to be too emotional, to hang on to things for a little while, to be clingy, and to be a little curvy. We all are but a cauldron of an indistinctive compound of feelings, infused with chemicals, situation and other people. This book inspires something important, the feeling of empathy and emotional intelligence. It brings out something which might on its verge and attempts to make it atemporal.

Undecided no doubt is polarizing, it’s beauty is undeniable, but I’m sure many will argue that it’s amateurish, and lacks coherence and focus, but it’s a very striking portrait of masculinity, immortal beings, and gods living a life out of proportion.

Demonstration of a feeling, an embodiment of all nature that is ravenous like a god, or maybe it’s just the idea of human yearning set loose in the one who created us, the one who once ruled us. Something almighty ensnared by something evocative, ensnared and suddenly consumed in that feeling of instant grief and then never learned why.

26th September, 2017 
Kshitij Gotiwale

A grieving Bhima by Jayesh Joshi

You can catch his artwork at behance, Instagram and maybe even Facebook. Links are here:


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