DEAR TRIX: VOL 2
We’re going to call the advice column portion of my lil TinyLetter #DearTrix because Trixie is more wise than I. Good. I’m thinking of sending out columns separately (once a week..maybe once every other week, if people don’t hate it) so that things can get the independent space that they deserve. Or something. I don’t know. I saw a dachshund this morning and honestly it’s all I’ve been able to think about since 9:30. Yay!
My stress has caused me to feel disconnected with myself, and therefore disconnected to those closest to me. I feel it, and the people closest to me feel it too. It’s just that when I’m home after a long day I need to rejuvenate and come back to myself. Therefore I haven’t been there for others in my life in the same way they are used to. How do I prioritize self care without neglecting the people closest to me?
Hi!
I’ve said this before, so sorry for being a broken record, but I genuinely think it’s great that you recognize that you’re stressed. I feel like quite a few of us just refuse to acknowledge that we’re stressed for a myriad of reasons — acknowledging it takes effort, we feel guilty for feeling stressed when we also have good things going on in our lives, etc. So honestly, I give you a lot of adult human points for identifying what you’re experiencing.
Firstly, I’d like to just say that I think it’s great that you recognize that you need time for yourself. Let me be the objective, frizzy-haired force in the world to tell you that you deserve time for yourself. I don’t know who you are, but you sound like a caring person. You sound like you feel guilty for not giving every minute of your free time to the people you care about. I think that’s so sweet. I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to feel guilty. Don’t feel guilty for taking a nap, or for staying home to watch your favorite show for hours on end. Don’t feel guilty for doing whatever you need to do that makes you feel calm and okay with being alive.
My advice to you is to keep taking time for yourself. I think you should take even more time for yourself. Do something extra for yourself today, whether it’s buying a pair of earrings, a book you’ve wanted to read or go to a place in your neighborhood that brings you peace (there’s a fountain in my neighborhood and I really like to just sit by it sometimes).
If you feel like your friends are noticing that something is up, you have every right to literally say “Hey, I’m just a little stressed lately. I’m just going through a rough patch.” If they’re your friends, they should be good to you, and you deserve good friends. The more time you’ll take for yourself, the more energized and calm you’ll feel, which I think will lead you to being able to spend more time with your pals down the line.
You taking time for yourself is not equivalent to you ignoring the people you love. I swear, there really is something weirdly healing about coming home after a long day and just sitting on your couch and reading or watching television by yourself. Knowing that you have an hour or so to just be there — do whatever you want to do — without owing anything to anyone.
Please know that you deserve peace. I hope this helps and you get to do something for you today.
❤

SHE’S PERFECT THOUGH.
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This originally appeared on my TinyLetter, which you can subscribe to here if you like to see pictures of dogs and/or hear about some fun books.
