TRYNA read 100 books in 2016

So Dakota Johnson has recently inspired me to attempt to read 100 books in 2016! I watched that movie where she played the young woman who breaks up with her college boyfriend (who ends up being a MASSIVE ass clown). Anyway, in the movie, she has a ~life-changing~ experience and reads a bunch of books on her own that she always wanted to read but could FINALLY read because she had freed herself of said assclown(s) who had previously played roles in her life. Bless!

Since I am a high school English teacher (yes, you should be praying for those children), I decided to read some of the books that high school students are exposed to and/or expected to read.

I began with..

1. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

LOL did F. Scott Fitzgerald hate women? This is a legitimate question I have. Someone please do said research and let ya gurl know. I ask this question because the three main female characters in this book are Disastertown, USA.

The casting of Carey Mulligan as Daisy Buchanan in the 2013 adaptation was flawless.

First, we have my least favorite fictional human, Daisy Buchanan. If Daisy Buchanan were a real person, I would shake her violently and subsequently expect fairy dust and dollar bills to flee from her dainty lil body. I CAN’T STAND HER. SHE IS THE WORST. I am not going to ruin anything for you in terms of the plot, just know that she is the actual worst and I imagine her to sing ever letter of every word that she speaks which makes me want to shave my head in protest.Then we have Jordan Baker. Jordan Baker is a golfer who many people believe to have cheated at some point during her career. When the reader meets her, the narrator (homeboy Nick Carraway) says the following:

“She was incurably dishonest…It made no difference to me. Dishonesty in a woman is a thing you never blame deeply.”

?????????????? You’re insulting my gender, right? I’m 99% positive that is a backhanded insult. If I had an optimistic attitude, I could say that Nick is actually defending women with the implication that during that time, the world imposed such injustices and unfair treatment that women had to lie to win the occasional battle. I am, however, not optimistic.

So we have Daisy Buchanan who loves money and sing-speaks, Jordan Baker who is a nosy, mean, cheater-golfer AND Myrtle Wilson!

Myrtle Wilson is Daisy’s husband’s mistress. The only thing she does in the novel that I don’t hate is her complete demand that Tom Buchanan buy her a dog. The dog is actually my favorite character in this novel.

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