Sawubona
While at Notre Dame I had the pleasure of getting to know this amazing zulu princess Nomfundo Mkize. She started every introduction with “Sawubona”, the zulu greeting that means I see you and I acknowledge your existence. Other than becoming this princess’ identifying phrase, sawubona triggered something in me. An awareness of time and space and the place I occupy in it. When was the last time someone “SAW” you? When was the last time your existence was acknowledged? When was the last time you did that for another? My time in America was exactly how I like my life to be, fast, progress and purpose filled but in the fast pace of my life how much of me was being lost in the details? How much of those around me was I missing out on?
The end of our YALI program was a 3 day conference at a gorgeous history filled hotel in Washington DC. 700 fellows from all over Sub Saharan African filled the hallways of this grand hotel, filling it with chatter and laughter, vibrant colour and an energy so palatable you could taste it. It was in the hallways of this hotel that I met her.
Her skin was a gorgeous shade of even black with undertones that made me know she was Western African. She had these gorgeous brown eyes that were so intense that they couldn’t be missed. Cheekbones defined to capture the beauty of her smile and frame her face. There was something familiar about her, something that felt like I knew her from a time beyond this one. I said good morning and she replied and asked me where I was from. I told and she told me she was from Gambia. There was something about her voice and the way her eyes searched my face that made me stop and talk to her.I asked her how long she had been working in the hotel and she said 3 years asked her how long she had been in the US and she said 10 years. I asked her if she enjoyed it and she said “Well am here now”. This response broke my heart and demanded answers. She told me how her children and husband were still in Gambia and how she visits once a year. Her children were teenagers now. As she spoke I saw a woman whose love and sacrifice for her family had meant losing touch with her family. I imagined what it must be like missing out on your children’s formative years or missing the embrace of your lover. In her eyes I saw it regret, lose and determination to stay the course. She was in America not for her own hopes and dreams but in pursuit of giving her family hopes and dreams. The whole time her eyes never left my face. She maintained this gaze on me that burrowed to myself. In that moment I stood for the children she missed, the lover she left behind the hopes, dreams and possibilities I held. I was more than just another face I was the hope, the sign that what she was working for was achievable. In her eyes I saw and recognised the work, the sacrifices my path demanded of me, I saw the people to whom I owed to make my dreams come true.
When our conversation ended she offered me water with so much love that I felt like her child. Our encounter left me with a haunted feeling.
I had my Sawubona moment but it had nothing to do with me being seen or acknowledged but everything to do with seeing and acknowledging the other. A good morning greeting that turned into an exchange of souls. The attention giving that turned into a sharing of lives. As a leader and as human being we owe it to those around us to see them. It is in the process of acknowledging their existence we find ourselves. I pray for a day where Africans do not have to leave the boarders of the continent in pursuit of a better life. May the better life we dream be found in our motherland. May the voyages and adventures that led us out into the world be fuelled by a need for more not a need for the necessary. To those who left I pray that may you know that you are seen that your sacrifices are acknowledged and respected. To those who were left behind may what you lost never cloud your vision of what it was in pursuit of. May you live lives worthy of the sacrifices that were made on your behalf. I challenge you, to see someone today and to acknowledge their existence.
