The Link Between Codependence and Learned Helplessness: Breaking the Cycle of Dependency.

Kulwant Saluja
2 min readMar 21, 2023

--

Codependence and learned helplessness are two psychological concepts that are closely intertwined and can create a cycle of dependency and reinforcing behaviors. Codependency involves excessive reliance on another individual or substance for emotional or physical support, while learned helplessness is a condition in which a person becomes passive and helpless due to a belief that they have no control over their environment.

Enabling behaviors play a significant role in reinforcing codependent and learned helplessness behaviors. These actions allow a person to continue their self-destructive behaviors, rather than addressing the underlying issues that are causing the behavior. Enabling behaviors in a codependent relationship often involve rescuing the other person from the consequences of their actions, making excuses for their behavior, or taking on responsibility for their problems. This can create a cycle of dependency and learned helplessness that is difficult to break.

Control is another factor that links codependency and learned helplessness. Codependent individuals often feel the need to control their partner’s behavior, which can lead to feelings of frustration and helplessness when their partner continues to engage in self-destructive behaviors. This can reinforce the codependent’s sense of learned helplessness and create a cycle of dependency.

Breaking free from this cycle requires addressing the underlying issues and developing healthier coping mechanisms. Seeking therapy, attending support groups, and learning assertiveness skills can be helpful. It is also crucial for individuals to recognize the enabling behaviors in their relationships, set boundaries, and hold their partners accountable for their actions.

In addition to these strategies, adopting a growth mindset can be beneficial. The concept of growth mindset, as outlined by Carol Dweck in her book Mindset, involves a belief that skills and abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. By embracing a growth mindset, individuals can approach challenges as opportunities for growth and development. This shift in mindset can help break the cycle of learned helplessness and codependency by fostering a sense of empowerment and self-efficacy.

In conclusion, codependence and learned helplessness are closely linked and can create a cycle of dependency and reinforcing behaviors. By addressing the underlying issues, developing healthier coping mechanisms, and adopting a growth mindset, individuals can break free from this cycle and live a more fulfilling life.

Photo by Hester Qiang on Unsplash

--

--