Why I Love it When Life Doesn’t Go My Way
How my quarter-life crisis led to new beginnings.
To all those who are about to hit a quarter of a century, let me give you a little heads-up. The next few years will confuse the heck out of you. They did for me. But I’ll tell you the ending now. It’s worth it.
When you turn twenty-five, your “to do” list will most likely be longer than usual, with every task that you aim to complete by the age of thirty meticulously detailed to perfection, of course based on your own definition of success.
Age twenty-six, panic-mode begins. With only four more years to go until your new list is meant to start, you can’t help but feel like time is against you. Or at least you think.
When you think you’ve got it all figured out
I was crystal clear on what I wanted to achieve when I turned twenty-five. I knew what was important to me professionally, how my personal life and relationships should look, what experiences I wanted out of life before I start my thirties.
One year on, it was evident that I wasn’t getting off to a good start. Delay after delay, hiccup after hiccup, disappointment after disappointment, I was running behind schedule.
More importantly, I felt like I was starting to lose hope. Every whisker of failure, no matter how big or small, was dealt with resentment and annoyance. Why? Because life wasn’t going my way. Spoiler alert: it never does.
Like any young person who thinks they can figure it all out, I went back to the drawing board, and pictured what the next few years should look like for me.
My only problem was that I didn’t have enough time to complete everything. I definitely didn’t want to turn thirty and still be working on my twenties’ checklist. Who does!
Hopefully you are starting to see my frustration. Life wasn’t progressing according to plan, and I was playing catch-up with time. What next? 2020! A new year, a new decade, a new me. Nothing was going to hold me back. Nothing.
Here’s what happened next. The world came to a standstill. All my plans got scrapped. And rightly so. There were bigger, more important things to be concerned about.
“Success is not a random act. It arises out of a predictable and powerful set of circumstances and opportunities.”
Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers: The Story of Success
My advice to a younger self
The issue with the “quarter-life crisis” is that it is a struggle between expectations and reality. Nobody ever meets their own internal, pre-conceived image of what their life should look like. It just doesn’t happen.
That road you thought you were cruising on heads towards a T-junction. Not a dead-end, but a T-junction. You have the opportunity to turn right, and the opportunity to turn left, but heading straight on just closed itself off.
If you were actually driving, you’d make that choice right? You wouldn’t put all your energy into finding a way to carry on straight. You’d simply make a turn. Or better, you’d focus your energy onto your new path, and who knows where that leads you.
And maybe that’s it. You can’t control every aspect of your success, nor what your journey should look like. Things just happen which force you to switch gears. They aren’t setbacks. These are opportunities.
Overall, I’ll say this. 2020 isn’t quite shaping out to be how I had imagined. But that’s okay. When life doesn’t go my way, it gives me the freedom to pursue things I’d never thought I’d do. How do you think I got round to writing this?
Let me end where I started. To all those who are about to hit a quarter of a century, here’s my advice. Don’t get bogged down by your “to do” list. Nobody ever completes all the tasks they set out to achieve, nor over the time period they had hoped. Keep your eyes open. Who knows what might come your way.
Until then, we keep hustling.
