Why is it so difficult to say I need help?

Kunal
3 min readJun 22, 2023

In our journey through life, we often face challenges that seem insurmountable. Yet, many obstacles hinder our progress when it comes to asking for help. Let’s delve into the seven common fears holding us back from seeking the support we need.

Firstly, there is the fear of appearing entitled. Society has ingrained in us that we should be self-reliant and independent. We hesitate to ask for help because we believe we are undeserving or there isn’t enough. This scarcity mindset prevents us from recognizing that seeking assistance is a natural part of the human experience.

Secondly, the fear of rejection looms over us. Reaching out for help will expose our vulnerabilities and be seen as a sign of weakness. This fear stems from societal stigmas associating incompetence or inadequacy with asking for help. We are conditioned to believe that our value lies solely in our ability to assist, creating a cognitive dissonance that hampers our ability to seek support.

Another obstacle we face is the fear of change. Asking for help implies acknowledging that we need assistance in altering our circumstances. However, change can be uncomfortable and unpredictable. We cling to the safety of the familiar, even if it hinders our growth and prevents us from accessing opportunities beyond our comfort zone.

The fear of burdening others also restrains us. We hesitate to ask for help, fearing we will impose on someone’s time and energy. The guilt of interrupting their lives holds us back, making us reluctant to reach out and share our struggles.

Uncertainty surrounding the transaction of asking for help can also deter us. We worry about the expectations and boundaries associated with seeking assistance. Will the other person keep score or expect something in return? This fear of an awkward and uncomfortable situation leads us to believe it is safer to suffer in silence rather than risk potential complications.

Moreover, the fear of losing control of the situation looms large. Negative past experiences, where seeking help resulted in others taking over and disregarding our input, make us hesitant to relinquish control. Setting clear expectations and boundaries becomes vital to avoid feeling overwhelmed or frustrated by well-intentioned but misguided assistance.

Lastly, the fear of energy drain affects many introverts. Asking for help requires organization and preparation, which can be mentally and emotionally draining. The uncertainty surrounding who to ask and what specific support is needed adds to the reluctance. It feels more accessible to soldier on alone rather than expend the energy required to articulate our needs.

To overcome these obstacles, it is crucial to identify areas where seeking help would make a significant difference. Imagine a single parent struggling to balance work and childcare responsibilities. They can alleviate the burden and create a healthier, more balanced life for themselves and their children by reaching out for support through a local community organization or family members.

Consider the story of Sarah, a talented artist who dreams of starting her gallery. Despite her passion and skill, she hesitates to seek help from experienced mentors and entrepreneurs for fear of rejection and the uncertainty of the transaction. However, once she takes the leap and seeks guidance, she gains valuable insights, avoids pitfalls, and accelerates her progress toward turning her dream into reality.

In conclusion, acknowledging our fears and challenging the societal narratives that hinder our willingness to ask for help is essential for personal growth and development. By recognizing that seeking assistance is a sign of strength, not weakness, we can unlock a world of support, guidance, and collaboration. Let us break free from the shackles of fear and embrace the transformative power of reaching out for help.

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Kunal

From years of battling depression, I now reveal my inner world through journal entries.