Love takes time…

… and a pinch of effort.

We now in our third month together and we do fight here and there but mostly we happy. We’ve broken up once and pride and ego always get the best of us. We laugh and smile and the intimate moments are magical. Its her birthday in two days and I’ve no idea what to get for her, but thats the beauty coz I can suprise her. One thing I’ve learnt if not two is that firstly we both know that we want to be together for we madly in love and secondly but most importantly love takes time and whole lotta effort.

Getting to be with someone is huge task believe me, and I find myself stuck between wanting to be loved and wanting my private space. I’ve noticed that its a balance that many couples fail to strike (including me). Its either you smothering each other to the point of irritation or treating each other like room mates rather a couple. My girlfriend is very active on Twitter and Facebook a habit that creeps me at times. Me on the other hand I’m into phones and tech and in as much as I don’t understand why she is so “addicted” to Facebook and Twitter, I’ve come to accept it. For her social networks are her personal space where she can unwind and loving her means accepting that just as she accepts my “addictions”

But what happens when the fights keep getting worse? I’ve asked myself countless times when is the right time to say enough is enough. I don’t have the answer to that question and half the times I end things in a silly and painful manner that leaves me feeling even worse than I was before. With age I’ve come to learn that breaking up my not be the “quick fix” solution to my relationship problems. In fact it has made them worse. Now when I get to that point when I am about to snap I just walk away. At times it makes her even more mad and upset, but thanks to that strategy we still together. For when you walk away you remove yourself from a tense situation where potentially hurtful words can be said without regard. It usually takes me a few hours to calm down and when we decide to talk the flames would have cooled and a positive outcome is mostly guaranteed.

lastly I grew up in an environment where saying sorry was more or less accepting defeat. As kids, if we had it our way we would fight till death do us apart. Now 20something years later I’ve said goodbye to that mentality that saying you sorry shows that you the weaker one. In fact in my relationships over the years the word sorry has saved me more than I deserve and it has become my soul mate. Given, there are times when I’m sure that she is wrong and inconsiderate and should be the one apologizing, but when you become the lessor one in order to stop a fight you in turn are being the greater one. Say it and say it again and again that you sorry and even though you don’t mean at least act like you do.

So that is it and you must think I must have the perfect relationships given all the tricks and solutions I just poured out. No I don’t, we are getting to know each other everyday. Yet one thing common is the mad love we have for each other.Like I said before Love takes time and a pinch of effort…