The End of 2017

Alhamdulillahirabbil ‘alamin for the time and the experiences that Allah gave me until this time. This year is supposed to (literally) be my year for so many plans and wishes and Allah give me more than of those list of wishes which made me have to get closer for the one word called “shabr”. Almost the most list I really wish was not really happened until now, since the one and only I have imagine before is about my marriage and having a baby in one frame of samara family (Insha Allah). But again, this wish that I’d try to have since 2016 was still have no clue until now even in a little piece of the story. But at the end, we really don’t know anything until the “Akad” time happened.

Let me tell you a lesson I feel about it. Marriage is supposed to be commonly happened in this area of age, as being a generation of 25+. Besides, being the oldest daughter also the oldest grandchild also makes kind of intention that a big family almost often asking for the plan of your marriage. But again in facts, I’m had an answer that kind of question with an easy way (my mom said) due to my master study so that it seems like I have a lot list to do for completing my study. Although I really enjoy my master with really a very easy way, ehehehekw. (try to not being an arrogant one, but in fact I did this and I really exciting to learn something in here and deal with it and also try to have what I really want to learn on).

And the most important thing is about my life, then. The reason why I should do these or those and why Allah gives me a chance to just have a breath in dunyah and try to get something as a deep lesson. This three quotes really make a worth life for me in 2017 after all.

“Yang paling dekat adalah kematian. Yang paling jauh adalah masa lalu. Yang paling besar adalah hawa nafsu. Yang paling berat adalah memegang amanah. Yang paling ringan adalah meninggalkan sholat. Dan yang paling tajam adalah lisan manusia. -Imam Al Ghazali-”
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. -Plato-”
“Sometimes the future changes quickly and completely and we’re left only with the choice of what to do next. We can choose to be afraid of it, to stand there, trembling, not moving, assuming the worst can happened, Or we step forward into the unknown and assume it will be brilliant -dr. Christina Yang on Greys Anatomy Season 10-”

May you think that 3 years of not having a “move-on step” from your very last call at that year will bring you into a very ridiculous one. Yes, I said it finally done like that, or used to be ended like it. For me, it is not simply as an easy way to have. Even every people surround me with the fact also with some opportunities. But again, what if my brain or also my heart still want to have said “no” with that. Or finally what about if Allah pleased me with this that I finally have to learn something from it with a very long duration until I did like something meaningless. Oh again, this is really not meaningless at all or something that happened with no result. But this a really worth time to learn. Allah try to tell that there are so many things happened in dunyah. Allah also wanna try to meet me with so many people with her/his kindness to inspire me doing something good to the others. About the marriage, sometimes I really think that I do have those competencies to have it in a good way, this is also what my surroundings tell about me. But it’s not the fact that those things was just enough for me or it just still my fantasy. Allah still give me much time to learn about the feelings, the problems, the challenges and also about the goals. What’s is a really your intention for having a marriage (?) Are you still have an energy to having it in barakah way when every step delivered the right and the good things (?)

But in this year, in 2018, I do try to manage it harder than before. Since I finally have the feeling of moving all my past far away. really, this feeling is really different than before. You can feel the new energy inside of it. I should have some agendas to make a new issue about the feeling. The new one with a full optimistic for something good happened, bismillah Insha Allah. Do you have any recommendation for my agenda? just please share it with me :D

For being a good one in any kind of situation or in now, yes, right now until you try to read and write this post. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle, so please just be kind. Judge less and spread your kindness, more and more. Because your kindness is good, and good is good! And also this is kind of your goals rite, Nik.. to be better day by day and in the day after, aamiiin insha Allah..

I’m on you, dr. Yang.. after I try to have the excitement in the first choice, eehehehkw. Just assume it will be brilliant, and try to have it as a goal. The one that really matters to motivate yourself is only you and Allah.. biidznillah. Keep up the good work and get the challenges impacted you to be better. Brings your talent in everywhere and in every step, because you are a blessed.. And we have to potentially bring our best as a blessing from and for Allah swt.

We walk into the unknown, We do really know what will happened from the unknown into more unknown, but the one that we really know that Allah will always beside us and just be clear to think that something brilliant will just be getting closer to us, Insha Allah..

So, hey 2018, I’m really ready for having you :D