I’m 50 & 1!

Kurt Brown
Sep 2, 2018 · 2 min read

Yesterday I hit 51 on the blue watery ball! Boy is it watery in the LaCrosse, Wisconsin region. Praying for many with flooded lives here.

My mom sent me this picture.

I’m the little pudgy one in case you didn’t get that. In fact my mom would say I was so pudgy I would roll everywhere. Roll right off the picnic bench!

Lately it seems I’m going through a season. Letting go of preconceived ideas of what life should be based on the illusions garnered over the years.

This birthday theme feels like I am 50 years old and also 1 year old.

50 years of driven experiences, conquering, egotistical plans that put the shell of me in a pretty picture over there. Filling holes and gaps with ideas.

Day 1 of starting over just now learning the true nature of love without effort.

Day One, flooded with compassion and forgiveness, weeping with love as it cracks the hardened crust that keeps you out and me in.

Whispers weave around the cells like a dancing silk ribbon sharing safety, wonder, astonishment, you are loved and you know what love is.

At 50 and now 1, how can a grown man be so terribly soft in the middle?

Holding and letting be the beauty in so much, just be beauty.

Maybe I am starting over learning this? Is this forgiveness? Is God calling me into something? Did I just miss this all together and all of you grew up knowing the accepting power of love?

Either way I will take IT!

I will be one year old and also 50. I will humbly stay here in the surrendered environment of love if it wants to lead me to a greater experience of connection to you, to the world.

Thank you for letting share.

    Kurt Brown

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