Farewell For Now
I never really know how to start these things. I suppose from the start would make a lot of sense, right?
Writing has been one of my main focal points for the past few months, but it’s gotten to a point where I am literally juggling a full-time job and as soon as I get home, thinking of content to write for Mobile Tech Talk, leaving any sort of personal time for myself in the distance. Don’t get me wrong, writing isn’t so much of a chore as it is a way to vent my opinions aloud, but it’s getting too much for me right now.
I’ve been suffering from depression which I went to my doctor about almost half a year ago now; I was on anti-biotics and it seemed to stray me away from these demons in my head for a very prolonged amount of time. Ever since I’ve been on this writing kick, my mind has become the scrambled mess it once was, with nothing but bad thoughts and a ridiculously grey cloud following me around everywhere to a point where I can no longer think for myself and I let the cloud do the talking.
I need time for me, and I need to sort all the things I have going on with me mentally before I can really go full-force with this whole writing thing. I want to succeed at what I do, but I need to stop and look around once in a while, as Ferris Bueller once said.
In terms of specifics: I have no idea how long I’ll be away for. It could be days, months or longer depending on how long it takes me to get my life back on track.
After today, you won’t be seeing me writing on the MobileTechTalk website, or anywhere for that matter. I may post the occasional tweet on my Twitter but that will be about it. I have written a few articles to at least keep some consistency going (Wallpaper of the Week, for example) and that should keep going on for a couple of weeks. My Lumia 650 review should be up next week at some point, too.
My Quest to Become an Okay Writer
Writing is a huge aspiration for me. There’s something about piecing a jigsaw puzzle of words together that entices me increasingly to keep doing it. But over the past 3–4 weeks, my writing has become nonsensical to me, and I was just writing for the sake of it. In a way, I kind of lost my mojo, and if you read my articles, you will have probably seen it too. I need to learn how to structure better and, without question, suck less at it in the process. If I want to become ‘big’ in this saturated business of tech journalism, I need to act like it in the words I use.
As soon as I can become my own personal weatherman in my own life and predict these grey clouds will dissipate, I can concentrate on working on that.
Technology is apart of me in every sense of the word. My dad introduced me to technology when I was 9 years old and I never looked back from that day. As I grew older, all I wanted to do was voice my opinions, provide insightful information and most importantly make sure you’re buying the right piece of kit to suit your needs.
My Own Personal Weatherman
Depression can be described in many ways, but the way I tend to see it from someone who is going through this right now is that it’s almost as if you have a weatherman forecasting your emotions for the next 5–6 days. Usually it’s a scatter of dark clouds with a 30-minute window of happiness, or it’s a full week of thunderstorms with no wiggle room the sun to shine through.
If I ever want to concentrate on my writing and become the best of what I can be, I need to become my own weatherman, and predict everything as a clear wave of sunshine and happiness. Sure, everyone has bad days, but I want to be able to maintain a little bit of happiness, rather than trawling through endless days of numbness and ultimately nothing when it comes to emotion. I need to feel alive again.