Declaring Email Bankruptcy: An Email Template

Rather than worry about a surely overflowing inbox while on vacation, I’ve alleviated my anxiety by writing an email template declaring email bankruptcy. Within one day of my return, I’ll be back at inbox zero.

Heya — thanks for reaching out!

First: I apologize for my delayed response.

Here’s what happened:

As you may know, I’ve just returned from my honeymoon after getting hitched on Halloween. (More on that at if you’re curious.)

In an effort to give my full attention to my new wife, I removed my work email from my phone and left our other devices at home. It was a wise decision because we’re closer than ever and had an amazing adventure together that had us spending nights in Miami, the Caribbean, and Key West.

Unfortunately, as a result of my newfound status as a minor internet celebrity in some circles combined with the high demand for my services, I received over one thousand emails during my brief absence.

What now?

After some contemplation with my peers, I’ve decided the best way for me to maintain great communication is to declare email bankruptcy. Yes, I’m deleting this and all of my current emails without reading them after sending this message.

Next steps:

If your priorities haven’t changed and you still need my assistance, please reply with five sentences or less telling me how I can help and I will do my best to reply with 24 hours.

(If not, no need to reply.)

Thank you for your understanding!

— Kurt