“You hurt my feelings”

I have wanted to write about this topic for a long time. I was always curious about what people mean when they say to another person “you have hurt my feelings” and why it means anything at all. Your feelings are yours, and you decide how to react to any situation that you are experiencing. So why do you believe your feelings can be hurt at all? Your feelings are an indication to what you are believing, they are a physical reaction to what you are thinking.

They cannot be hurt by no other person but you!

If you are feeling hurt it is because you are the one believing in what is being said in the first place. If someone says something to you and you don’t believe them then you are not hurt about what they have just said, you are hurt because you believe in what was said. We cannot control what people say and do but we can choose how to react to what is being said and done. If someone says to you, “you are an idiot” and you believe them, YES you are going to feel hurt but if you don’t believe them, then there is no indication to emotional pain. So the issue is not about what they say to you but what you believe about yourself. If you already believe that you are an idiot in the intimacy of your own mind and someone says what you already believe, you are going to feel emotional discomfort and pain to some degree. But if you don’t have the initial negative belief, then your reaction will be one of indifference, it has to be as those words will just bounce off you effortlessly.

You cannot have your feelings hurt if you don’t believe what the other person is saying and if you are feeling hurt in some way, question your own beliefs about yourself and then thank them for bringing it to your attention.

We cannot keep asking people to modify their behaviour so we can feel better about ourselves. We must question our own beliefs about SELF. Only think thoughts that support you, believe in thoughts that empower you. Entertain beliefs that encourage you, make you feel important and powerful. You don’t want someone other than yourself to make you feel important and you don’t want anyone to make you feel dis-empowered either. But at the end of the day everyone is just reflecting back what you ultimately believe about yourself.

You cannot have your feelings hurt without your consent

You are the one in charge all the time, you are the one choosing to react to circumstances and events and you are the one always choosing and deciding how to react and how to create. You don’t need anyone’s permission to feel. You can feel as good as you like or even as bad as you like. The illusion that circumstances and events can effect you, must be realised as false. This is not the case.

You are in charge, you are the creator and you are the one entertaining thoughts and beliefs, believing them or not, at all times. So the next time someone says something to you that you don’t like, ask yourself: why don’t I like it? are you also believing in the same thing about yourself? reflect upon it instead of lashing out and feeling hurt, ask yourself why do you feel hurt in the first place. If you don’t believe in what they are saying then why get upset?