To All Those Who Think Their Parents Don’t Understand Them
A friend of mine spent a month discussing his career options with everyone in the world (including me).
And he thought he had concluded until I said,”That sounds like an ambitious plan. But let’s look at it more technically. Let’s break it into pieces. If you say you’re going to earn X amount in 1 year, how much does that mean per month? Per week? Per day?”
He was shocked at this question. And started laughing at his own theory, on which he was just about to bet his career.
Thank god he didn’t take that step.
But here’s the funny part: Replace me, and put his dad in the same place asking the same questions. What would he have replied?
“Oh, you always keep asking such absurd questions!”
While I was just thinking about this proposition of what he would have said, I lightly asked him about it, knowing he was living with his parents,”Have you discussed about your career options with your dad?”
And out came the defensive version of him, as I had presumed. He suddenly said, he’s having a headache and that he would like to talk later. I knew what I had to do now. He was blocking his father away and not allowing him to talk to him about his career. I had to break that conversation gap.
Even through they live in the same house, there was such a huge communication gap between father and son, that it took someone from outside to remind him to talk to his dad, who lives in the same house.
Just to convince him to talk to his dad, all my sales and marketing skills were put to the test! (And I’ve even sold pointless products like magnetic phone holders in Canada while sitting in India.)
Recently I came to know after the conversation gap got broken, that his father had it all planned for him. It was just about him, becoming a bit open and accepting his dad’s advice instead of cutting him off. And now he’s all well planned and set, ready to answer all those technical questions too.
Three days ago, I visited someone’s family. And in front of me (the guest), the son was keen on making fun of and insulting his father. What has the world come to?
Two days ago, another friend of mine called me just for some emotional support, because there was some problem in his relationship. In the middle of the discussion when I asked him whether he had discussed this issue with his parents, he was again so defensive. He didn’t want to even consider that as an option. And why? “Oh they’ll keep saying the same old story”, he says. He’s even considering moving back to hometown, but staying in a nearby house away from his parents.
And then I asked him a simple question. Just some simple current affairs stuff.
You saw the last episode of KBC? Wasn’t it amazing when Rekha Devi won 12.5 lakh!
Yeah I remember. [this is not important, it’s just entertainment]
There’s a huge tax reform going on in the country and you need to be able to comply with the new system. Any idea? Everyone’s talking about GST. Did you read about it?
No. [this is important for every citizen to know, whether entertaining or not]
If you were talking to your parents, at least you would have been in touch with what really matters and what’s just entertainment.
Know what’s important.
That broke his ego. He then decided to listen to the advice and discuss whatever he’s facing with his parents.
If you think your parents are repeating the same story over and over again, just for a second, give it one more thought. Maybe you’re making some mistake over and over again?
I was making the same mistakes when I was young until I started to realize how right they were, always. And I don’t want you to go through the same.
And this post is just to nudge you. Because we all know that the generation gap is common. There are so many young people, who have this conversation gap with their parents. Break this gap. Talk to them.
If you have 10 times the number of likes on your profile photo, it doesn’t mean that you’ve outsmarted them. Disconnect the reel world, from the real world.
Although your parents might be struggling with how to use net banking (which you can help them with), you’re still here because they paid your bills with that bank account, which you till now, only know how to withdraw from. They aren’t incapable of understanding you.
If here’s any problem or any confusion you are having, do discuss it with your friends. It will help. But, don’t keep your parents out of the equation. They are your best friends.
And for all those who say,”Parent’s don’t understand, friends do”
Tell me one thing. There’s so many youngsters who drink and smoke these days. Who told them do? Friends or parents? You may or may not be one of them but you get the point, right?
There might be a change, that it’s you who’s not willing to understand. Think again.
Youth suicides, youth addictions, and even a lot of confusions— all can be stopped. If only, we ensure that they don’t build this conversation gap with their parents.
Two of these friends of mine are now back on track. I’ll get the third one on track soon.
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