Are you okay with burritos? I’m okay.
“I’m okay.”
The few words, when used, often indicate a pinnacle of self-acceptance and understanding. That everything we have thought and accomplished in our personal journeys thus far is now filled less with regret, and more of a piece of who we are.
I’d like to take some time to talk about all sorts of “okay’s”, but unfortunately, today’s not that day. Instead, I’d like to share a little bit about what it takes to be okay and give 110%, challenge the norms and stigmas set before you, and initiate a change within a community… Only to be thrown aside and tossed away. To watch as your hard work (let’s call it a burrito) is not only stripped of your name, but given to someone else on a platter. Except, the instructions on how to prepare or even eat this burrito only exist in your brain. So now, we’re set watching others play with this burrito without a clue as to how to interact with it.
I’ve come across a decent number of these moments. It’s simple, petty almost, on how I’ve lived with frustration and dejection because of these moments. And that’s why I tell myself that now, more than ever before, that I’m okay. It’s a struggling two words (well, it’s probably three because I’m is compounded…) but the more I say it, the more I find myself at peace.
I’d like to point out that I’m okay and It’s okay are two different phrases. While saying “It’s okay” applies to these situations, it doesn’t satisfy… well, me. The situation isn’t the one struggling to find self-worth and gratification; it’s me. Understanding that by saying “I’m okay” means that within yourself, you’ve found a piece of you that smiles back. It’s a lot harder to look at someone else’s name on your burrito and say “Hey, it’s okay” because your next few words and actions are likely going to be along the lines of “I’ll make a better burrito next time.” Consider this: “Hey, I’m okay.”
It’s a struggling two [to three] words but the more I say it, the more I find myself at peace.
I’m okay seeing this burrito leave me because it means someone else wants to appreciate it. I’m okay seeing this burrito here because it means others will gravitate towards this burrito. I’m okay with this because what if it means that others will try to create a burrito too? I’m okay because what if all this time, I realized I didn’t make this burrito for me, I made it for another. I am okay because this burrito is an outlet for my frustration. I am okay… because after all this time, I am finally okay with myself.
It occurs to me that not everyone likes burritos, nor did I really write about burritos. Sorry if that’s what you came for, but it’s okay. And I hope you’re okay. What matters to me is that when I see something I once loved, something I once put all my heart and soul into: I don’t look for the next thing — I just tell myself that I’m okay. I might not mean it at first, but it’s a start. I’ll probably have a lot more burritos in the future, but I’d like to make it a goal that if and after each burrito, whether it’s in my hands or yours, I’d like for each of us to take a collective breath and say…