Hey, everyone. It’s time for another short story, or as I like to call them, complete lies. Much like Ralph, with whom most of you are probably unfamiliar (shady explanation at the end of the article), the birth of this story (and the characters therein) is contingent on me pulling through and actually writing it. Which is going to be kinda tough, seeing as I have no ideas and the unnecessarily long prologue I’m currently writing is a way of stalling until I can come up with something.
I’m just the story’s father though. Its god, if you will, and its continued existence teeters on your attention. Once your minds leave this place, the characters cease to exist. Therefore, if you want to keep them alive; if you want to spare them from the dark abyss of oblivion, you’ll remember them. Remember…………………… they’re counting on you. Let’s rock & stone!
Galapagos is a funny word. It almost sounds like it’s from one of the made up alien languages from old Hollywood movies. The aliens thought it was funny, too, when they landed. They said their movies had aliens speaking like that too. Turns out they were the ones that were right.
They told us their people sent out astronauts (although they called them spaceflymen… not very creative) a long time ago, and we were the first alien life they’d found after five generations of traveling. They were surprised when we said they were the first we’d encountered.
“But you all seem so indifferent about our being here!” one of them exclaimed. “Like you’ve done this a thousand times before.”
All our world leaders burst into laughter, and so did we, the people live streaming from home, where we couldn’t leave, because we were still on lockdown.
After what was probably the most awkward minute or so of GleepGlorp, Struynik, and Joe’s lives, the leader of the council leaned into the microphone and said “This isn’t the weirdest thing that’s happened this year. 2020 is the year of ‘This Might As Well Happen’.”
Over the next few weeks, the aliens, the Koenigs, they were called, gave out implants that would make translation from any language instant and accurate (yes, even baby talk). They made cars faster and safer, they gave chickens guns and raccoons swords. It was awesome.
The final straw tho, for the people that wanted to maintain the status quo, was when they joined hands with earth scientists to develop the long-coveted Cure-For-Everything, a serum that would not only cure the corona virus, but would also eradicate disease in humans forever
Obviously, they couldn’t let that get out. Long story short, it ended up with a lot of dead scientists and apparently “alien terrorists that came to enslave us and take our world.”
It was pretty sad. But also pretty cool. Humans are awful.
Anyways, I’m the ghost of one of the scientists and I approve this message.
There’s really no good way to segue out of that, so here’s Ralph
K, bye