Great article and insight Sarah. Like many in the comments below… I think this is a general asshole problem, which happens to be fueled by dudes trying to create their next (or first) frat.
As a co-founder of a very early stage startup, I enjoy the wild-west aspects of it. Cutting your own path. Showing up in shorts and flip-flops and out-working anyone within a 10 mile radius in pursuit of your passion. I also enjoy having a beer at work. And I enjoy going out to happy hour from time to time.
With that said, I cycle on and off of alcohol. There are times when I simply need a break. I’m not a kid anymore and have no intentions of trying to “keep up”. My team mates are the same. We will go out, have drinks, and some of us with have a coke. or tea. or water. or whatever the hell they want. It’s a non-issue, and it should remain as such. Culture is important. Camaraderie is important. But having respect for your self and your team is paramount.
I’m sorry you have spent so much time working with assholes, and I hope you are in a position to tell anyone who gives you shit for how you live your life to eff off!