I lied to My Coworkers
I lie to my coworkers. A lot. Sometimes it is a little thing. Sometimes, like today, it’s pretty big.
I tell my coworkers that I am going to the dentist when I am really going to the gynecologist. Once, when I got back to work someone asked me how my check-up went. I had forgotten what I told them and gave them a look of panic. “Did you have a cavity?” he asked. Shit. “No, all good in the hood” I smoothly responded. I spent the rest of my day texting my sister about my use of “all good in the hood”.
(Side story, one time I told my coworkers I was going to the dentist then saw my male coworker and his pregnant wife at the gyno. He asked me if I was pregnant too. I guess dudes think that is the only reason you go. His wife gave him a better look than I could ever give so I decided to leave it alone. We never spoke about it.)
Anyways, I lied to my coworkers today. We were coming back from lunch and I fell down some stairs. It was pretty bad. I had people rush over to help me. Then, after everyone made sure I was ok, the question came: “Were you playing Pokemon Go?” I immediately denied it. I am a grown ass woman. I’ve got my own house, I’ve got my own car. I do things like listen to NPR and host Sunday BBQs. I would never sustain a Pokemon injury.
Later on other coworkers heard about my tumble and asked if I was ok. Then followed up with the Pokemon question. “No, I was just texting my husband” Yeah, because that’s better…
So here it is: When I say I am going to the dentist I am really getting my whoo ha checked out and when I say I fell texting my husband, I was really trying to catch a Jigglypuff.