The futility of asking a man what he is thinking

Now here’s the facts about the futility of asking a man what he’s thinking.

Ladies, you don’t really care about what we’re thinking. We know the futility of answering you.

You gals have already got it figured out. You’ve got the answer. You’re simply wanting us to concur with what you’re already thinking. It’s a test we men with our “dangly bits” have a 99.9% chance of failing. (Did you have to reference it using something so tiny as a “bits”?) So why try answering your test questions?

Men, having not evolved to the point of being mind-readers, dare not respond to questions posed by our opposite sex wives and girlfriends. We’re going to get it wrong and get punished. As we gain experience and mature (yes, we do mature), we reach the point where silence and a shrug is even more sophisticated than feigning conversational interest with a question-to-your-question like, “What do you think {I should think}?”

Face it ladies, Eve probably asked Adam, “What are thinking? Should we really eat this apple? Do you think God is kidding us? Do you think he meant the red ones only? What about the green ones? There’s yellow apples too; what about them? Oranges? Did he say anything about oranges or pears or bananas?”

Adam took the first bite of the apple because he figured it was better to face the wrath and grace of God’s punishment than listen to this endless series of questions pretending to be statements. With her bite, Eve received knowledge of good and evil. Man received knowledge that she had all the knowledge and he better not express an opinion or he would gain wrath without the benefit of grace.

For the record, “No, that dress does not make you look fat. Eating and drinking all those carbs and not exercising does.”

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