Day 2: Unspoken Anxiety

The first time it happens you swear it’s a heart attack. The one hundredth time it happens you swear it’s a heart attack, even though deep within the recesses of your brain you now name it; anxiety attack. Slowly, you allow yourself to calm down Until, your lovely brain shouts, “WAIT, what if it IS a heart attack?” and the anxiety attack renews, but this time it’s even stronger. Yay for you, and for your brain!

Understanding and diagnosing anxiety is the proverbial double-edged sword. To do either you must go through it. Over and over and over again. And even then there’s no blood or urine sample that provides a positive diagnosis. Anxiety simply is a part of you, unrecognized often for decades, until one day you realize what is happening during these attacks. Therapists can help you get to this point, but try getting someone who suffers severe anxiety to get into that chair. Yet somehow we get there, we self-diagnose and start to unravel this internal demon that often forces your decisions and leads you towards destructive behavior.

Now once you get that diagnosis the hard part is yet to come. For now, while you understand you suffer from anxiety disorder, it’s something you must hide. Dumb, right. Anxiety is something we aren’t supposed to talk about, especially men. The number of people I’ve shared this with is few, and none beyond my direct group of close friends and…