that’s a pretty fuckin’ fast year flew by

in the end,

it never mattered that

the blue skies

were here.

my heart lived here

for 8 months while

i studied myself.

i showed up at the front door

and my heart greeted me

with excitement

and anger.

fear too.

scared for me to

leave it here again.

i wont this time tho.

ill bring it with me

and let it paint the

side streets and hiking trails

and grey government buildings.

the faders on the mixer sliding into place,

life is feeling like an EQ with

one bad frequency.

just trying to fix this last thing before i leave.

spent a year learning about myself.

i didnt like everything that i learned.

but it all helped.

and now i go for round 2.

the nostalgia and memories

had me fighting like a

mexican, and they still got the best of me.

i gotta try not to let

em win this time.

i know their moves now.

i have a leg up.

they seep in at night

when the smoke is wearing off

and the bright tv is flashing in my eyes

and the music sounds warped and distorted.

they leak into my brain

telling me lies and

putting rose tints over my pupils.

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