The Diary of an Illinois Boston Fan

NBA Draft Running Diary

Alright. It’s time for the most excited night of the post-post-season in the NBA. It’s the NBA draft

It’s no secret my Celtics have huge stakes in tonight’s events and so I thought it was time for me to do a running diary. Let’s get right to it as we see these kids (I’m 25 and feel so old now) have their dreams realized.

6:02: Jay Bilas keeps doing this weird bald+beard combo. I dig it.

6:03: Okay, I’m so incredibly nervous. Which is ridiculous because whether the Celtics turn these picks into rookies or into star players like Butler, Porzingis, or Davis the Celtics are in a great spot. This uncertainty that literally cannot fail makes me unreasonably anxious. I’m angry at the perfection that was Danny Ainge making these trades that I don’t know what to do!

6:05: I actually really hope the Kings are smart about this and draft both De’Aaron Fox and Malik Monk (if Monk falls that far). How lucky could a bad team be to get two rookies that have actually played together not only on the same team, but also in the same system as their budding star center? The Kentucky Kings could run wild on the NBA in a few years.

6:09: Why do so many people keeping thinking LaVar Ball is going to be an issue in his son’s career? It’s become pretty clear to me that it was all a show plus he’s got two other sons to hype up. We won’t hear too much from LaVar in a year.

6:11: I didn’t realize Lonzo had a voice. I seriously thought he was a mute like Kawhi Leonard.

6:11: Also, Jeff Goodman 100% changed his question when LaVar interrupted.

6:15: I’m seriously so excited to watch Ball, though. Everything about his game is great outside of the way his jumpshot looks. Great range, great finish, unbelievable passing, defense looked great in college. He also is just a quiet leader and let’s everyone else hype him up. The Lakers are being ran the right way by getting in a position to grab him.

6:17: My Beavers are likely going to the College World Series and I swear I’ve seen almost no commercials with them in it. Serious disrespect.

6:19: So no Porzingis? Sad. I would have loved him but again Ainge can’t mess this up. He could trade every pick to the team in China that Marquise Daniels plays for and I’d still be okay as long as they still sign Hayward or Millsap.

6:21: I know it’s been said everywhere around the sports waves this week, but wow I love Fox. Wife is a Kentucky fan so I watched him a lot. Very much like a better shooting Westbrook, crazy dynamic. This draft could seriously elicit 12 hall of famers. That’s how deep it is. Fox is gonna be special.

6:26: By the way. Fall Out Boy just released a new song called Champion so be prepared to hear it on every sports commercial in about 3 months. Not that I’m complaining, it’s a jam.

6:28: What is it about Sean Miller that so many foreign kids want to go to Arizona? Have you been the University of Arizona? What kind of Pitino promises is he giving them to get them there?

6:30: Well now I really wanna see Detroit that’s a stacked cast.

6:35: I’m glad we have a commissioner we love who only gets booed when mentioning the Warriors? Also, Kawhi, Manu, and ISAIAH getting serious love.

6:38: Can Jahlil Okafor please go somewhere he will be appreciated? He’s a really good offensive player. I hope someone can find a good spot for him on their roster.

6:41: Whaaaat? Markelle Fultz went number one? Who could have seen this coming? Color me shocked.

6:41: Hahahahahahahaha…Avid BMX biker? That’s the greatest hobby I’ve heard from a prospect in a long time.

6:43: I truly hate the flat bill hats but that 76ers logo is legit.

6:45: I like the Butler trade. Would have liked him in Boston but this just keeps the door open for Davis. That team should be really awesome next year as Wiggins and Towns keep improving.

6:49: Dear Woj…why ruin the Celtics pick for me? Why?

6:50: Is Lonzo Ball a robot? Literally every statement starts and ends as if he was reading off a teleprompter.

6:53: My friend Michael (Bulls fan) might have had a stroke from that trade. The amount of Gahs and exclamations makes me think he wasn’t happy.

6:54: More than happy with Tatum. As long as he stays. But talking about getting George…interesting. Please don’t sacrifice too much for a rental.

6:57: Seriously these shimmering hats are freaking terrific. A+ Draft Hat Makers. A+.

6:59: If you told me that the future of the Celtics was IT, Bradley, Tatum, Brown, Horford, and one or two rookies next year in the top 4…I’d die happy.

7:03: @RealSkipBayless: As long as Isaiah Thomas is the PG, Celts ceiling will be pretty low. Terrific shooter, clutch shotmaker, but not great passer or defender....

Rot in hell, Skip.

7:06: I’m so torn about Foot Locker commercials. They’re so perfect. And usually I want more but I’m afraid more would dilute them. I just hate waiting for a new one every 6 months.

7:11: Best dressed without a doubt heck of a suit.

7:15: Thanks to draft tipping…we know who the Wolves are picking for the Bulls. And Michael seriously might blow up the United Center. At least he has his Jazz. Until Hayward leaves.

7:22 We take a minor break from my running diary to give you a live look-in at my friend Michael, right now.

For the record, he’s a Mormon who said fuck twice to me in text. Just so you know how pissed off he is.

7:24: New York almost totally screwed up by trading Porzingis to their biggest rival. Let’s hope they don’t mess up by skipping on Monk.

7:26: Are we sure Dr. Buss is dead and isnt instead actually Voldemort who he stuck Nagini into the dead body of Phil Jackson?

7:28: Holy crap, the Kings might actually get Monk to go with Fox. Dave Joegr should really be worried that Calipiari may actually end up taking his job.

7:33: Dennis Smith seriously might be the best player out of this whole draft. Again, 12 potential hall of famers at the minimum. The league will be run by these first 15 players in 4 years time. Except for probably Markannen.

7:38: I can understand everything but trading the 16th pick. The Wolves without a doubt win that trade.

7:39: I know this is called Diary of An Illinois Boston Fan…but I was born in Portland and have a huge affinity for my Portland teams. Collins to the Blazers is amazing. Lillard, McCollum, Collins, Nurkuc…that’s quite the back and front court. This could be like Devin Booker in the next couple years. Great talent behind a veteran starter, lottery pick.

7:44: No other movie comes close to what, Transformers? What kind of weird ass marketing line is that? That’s pristine meme-territory.

7:46: Malik to Charlotte is great, I just wish he was with Fox in Sacramento. Not sure why the Kings wanted an extra 1st when this draft drops off in talent from 16 and on. Should have taken Monk.

7:49: Jalen throwing a little shade at ESPN every time he mentions Simmons.

7:51: Part of me hopes Dwight Howard ends up in Detroit at some point, causing Stan Van Gundy to literally explode.

7:52: With Jackson, KCP, Tobias Harris, and Drummond…Detroit badly needed shooting. I like Kennard a lot to be a lesser version of Danillo Gallinari.

7:57: I think I’m the only person that likes Bam Adebayo to be a star at the next level.

8:01: I think people are so in love with “crazy socks” that they’re not really crazy anymore. It’s like the Ugly Christmas Sweaters.

8:02: Jalen Rose is right…Fleeced. It was an okay trade made bad by giving up a first round pick still. Also, best trade? Really? Man, Boston must truly not have believed he would make them good enough to beat Cleveland.

8:05: Freaking right. Miami in the past 3 years have gotten two huge steals late in the lottery with Winslow and Adebayo. Great youth window and potentially Hayward makes the Heat a serious competitor in the east

8:16: I like Justin Jackson. The Kings are at least making really good picks at the right spots. Maybe they’re not totally hopeless which makes me worried for that 2019 pick if it becomes necessary.

8:18: So let’s get this right just for everyone out there. The Wolves are getting Jimmy Butler and Justin Patton…the Bulls get Lauri Markannen, Kriss Dunn, and Zach Lavine…I’m so sorry Bulls fans.

8:24: I’m terrified of the Bucks. Absolutely scared of their ceiling. No matter who they pick, that kid is gonna develop with Giannis and that team is just gonna get so much better.

8:25: Cal remains the best interview.

8:26: It has been 2 hours. We haven’t even made pick 17. How does this stuff happen?

8:29: OG Anunoby is still available? At 20? Okay, Kings, prove me wrong.

8:31: Seriously. So much about the College World Series and literally no talk of Oregon State. I’m offended.

8:32: Is anybody else from UCLA actually good or were they just made to look better by Ball?

8:35: TJ Leaf sounds exactly like what I expected a white guy named TJ Leaf to sound like.

8:41: I have two very white friends from two separate friend groups who signed up to literally every dating app ever. Including black people meet. One of them is currently 4 months strong with his girlfriend from there. It’s still my favorite love story of 2017.

8:42: I think I might just kill the Kings. De’Aaron Fox…good luck. I don’t like Giles even a little bit.

8:45: Can’t wait to see who the Thunder pick to not get the ball from Westbrook.

8:50: I legitimately wonder what it is about Australia that attracts these young guys. Brandon Jennings and Mudiay were highly touted as ex-Pats there and Exum and Bogut high picks from there. Is Australia a quiet NBA factory?

8:54: I’m actually really worried about the Nets not being the worst team in the NBA next year. Anunoby still available, Russell is going to be a star in the league and will win them some games, and they’ve got cap space to sign smart FAs to improve the roster…all without draft picks. I need them to be terrible.

8:56: The whole waiting to announce trades thing is super weird. Why not announce it then if you reject it say “nah”? At least add some humor to it.

8:58: The kid that plays young Randall, in This Is Us, is going to grow up to be Jarrett Allen.

9:02: I’m officially as creeped out by the blackpeoplemeet.com commercial as I am by the farmersonly.com commercials.

9:03: The Butler trade happened significantly earlier than the Trailblazers Kings trade…how did those get approved in virtually the same time? Also, OG to Toronto is steal of the draft. Especially if he can become a ball handler.

9:06: Raptors v. Celtics=Short Shorts v. Short Shorts now with Anunoby v. Brown.

9:12: That feels like a weird fit in Denver with Jokic. But Denver is ready to hang their hat on the roster they have now. They and Minnesota are clear favorites to overcome teams like OKC and LAC in the playoffs.

9:15: They’ve already announced 2 more Transformers movies. How is this the end of the story?

9:22: I understand Frank Mason isn’t likely to light the league up, but he’s definitely a better version of Jameer Nelson and I think can be a great role player down the line. It feels like a classic SA pick.

9:25: Take it from someone that pays attention to Big Ten Basketball…anybody that dominated the Big Ten is not someone you can accurately assess.

9:33: That Lakers and Celtics rivalry is coming back.

9:35: It has taken 3 hours to get through 28 picks. Unreal.

9:39: With the Spurs passing up Frank Mason it feels like goes around early teens in the 2nd. Maybe a Denver?

9:40: This has been a wild night and so far the Celtics did nothing but draft a future star and toy with drafting George. Still, when was the last huge draft night trade like the Butler trade? It’s been a heck of an event and the NBA is slowly creeping up to the levels of the NFL for year round relativity. One more pick to go and then I’ll sign out. Thanks for joining me on this.

9:46: Josh Hart. I’m out.

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.