A day in the life of a Hostile Environment Mom.
My sweet boys… you have not seen your daddy for 283 days and counting.

My husband has missed countless moments and memories over the last 10 months some being; Foster’s third birthday, Fathers Day, Mothers Day, their first day of school, Flynn loosing a tooth. He missed out on celebrating his birthday, when he had planned to visit us for a ten day trip last month but instead the authorities at Dublin Airport refused his entry, on the grounds they did not believe was a genuine visitor. He has missed Halloween, my birthday in a few weeks and we have to think about the possibility of him missing Christmas with us this year too.

He has missed our youngest Donovan saying his first word, he missed Donovan taking his first steps and today he misses celebrating Donovan’s first birthday.
A time where we should be all together as a family, looking forward to celebrating with balloons, cake candles and smiles. But instead we won’t do any of that, we will have a low key day while daddy distracts himself with work 3000 miles away in the USA.

The Minimum Income Requirement for a UK Spouse Visa, which came into force in 2012 by Theresa May, means that British citizens (or people born in Northern Ireland like myself who are automatically British ) and earn less than £18,600 a year cannot be joined in the UK by their partner from outside the European Economic Area.

Currently it is not possible for me to work 40+ hours to meet the income requirement while being the sole care provider for my children. The financial requirement is a level far higher than the minimum wage in the Omagh, Northern Ireland where I currently live.
This Hostile Environment created by Theresa May back in 2012 separates an estimated 15,000 children, who are growing up without one of their parents.
The Home Office states that separating children from their parent is NOT a human rights issue as they can develop a relationship with their parent (usually the Father) via the Internet!!
Yep, you did read that correctly.

We are deemed as “Skype families” — where the only contact they have with one of their parents is through Skype because one parent does not earn enough for the family to live together. The impact this has on thousands families and children’s mental health is crippling including my own.

I believe these rules mostly discriminate against families and mothers -across the country 80% of women in part-time work don’t make the £18. 6K threshold, and mothers are often being pushed out of the labor force because they have to handle their childcare responsibilities alone like myself. There just isn’t enough hours in the day.
We are being financially punished for not being financially privileged.
A typical day for me as a Single Mom of three;
Around 6.30am the baby wakes for maybe the third time since mid night, he needs changed and fed. At 7am the two older boys get up and get ready for school (if only they did this as easily as I just wrote it!) We Facetime Dad every morning before we leave to walk to the bus. We get home and have two hours before getting Foster ready for school. During this time I clean up from the morning madness, beds need made, deal with tantrums, change bums, and endless snacks are required for the hungry monsters. I put on a washing, empty the dishwasher, get our bags ready, Foster cleaned up and his uniform on. Around 11am we are out the door ready for our 45 minute trek to School, where Foster will spend two hours having fun, learning and getting to socialize with other kids. I try to squeeze as much as I can into those couple hours of freedom, typically it involves running back into town to get any essentials needed at home, usually something I’ve forgot to get the day before, attending weekly appointments or on the phone returning calls/emailing about different options on our case, all whilst pushing a pram and entertaining a now one year old.

After picking up Foster at around 2pm we quickly walk to make it in time to get Flynn off the bus. When we finally get home, its well after 3pm, if I’m lucky Donovan will take his nap, the older two are normally a little wound up from their day, they’ll mellow out, eat a snack and then we tackle homework, which with Flynn can sometimes be a two to three hour debate on whether he will do it or not. Five o’clock rolls around, which means its feeding time at the zoo.. I’m sure I’m not the only mom on the planet who has to make separate meals for each child, it can be challenge for sure but as long as they eat that all that matters. After supper the boys play, watch TV or rock out to a dance party in the living room while I tidy up the kitchen that looks like a tornado rolled through three times over.
The two youngest get put to bed around 7pm. Flynn gets to bed shortly after 8pm, he usually finishes his homework with his Daddy via FaceTime. Around 9.30pm I finally get myself to bed. Do I sleep, no. Usually I can be found scanning the inter webs, looking for possible jobs, trying to work out how I could manage childcare while working said job, searching for solutions on where in the world our family will live and how we can all be together.
Where would I find the time to work around taking kids to school and tending to their basic needs on a daily basis? If I did find the right job I would end up working even more hours to cover childcare alone, I would see my children only when their sleeping, all while trying to meet the minimum income requirement.
Its the same routine every single day, and has been for the last 283 days.

We always start and finish our day with a call to daddy, that usually ends with tears and lots of questions as to why daddy can’t come home.. It takes every part of my being to comfort my sweet boys, who have no idea what is going on, nor could their little heads even begin to understand it.

There are a few positive things that have came out of this experience. I have found great support and developed so many invaluable friendships in an online community with people across the globe in similar situations.
The people in these groups are resilient and time after time, they continue to fight for their basic human rights and those of others. They are a force to be reckoned with. They have helped me learn how to advocate for myself, my husband and our family. They have helped me stand tall and speak my truth when all I really want to do is hide away from the world and to constantly keep showing up for my family and I, ready to fight whatever battle is laid out in front of us, while taking no shit along the way and most importantly I have learnt that we are never ever alone no matter how dark the situation may seem.
The reality of our situation is still the same, as it is for most families who are still suffering at the hands of this government. I have been left a single parent, forced to manage three children alone, while merely surviving on cups of tea and sausage rolls.

Everyday my boys question me why their daddy can’t be here, and everyday I try my best to overcome the tremendous guilt and shield them from the reality of what we are going thru, hoping one day soon we will be reunited.
My children and I have a right to a family life here in Northern Ireland, without us having to move across the border or without having to revoke my British citizenship. But it seems that this government are finding any excuse to refuse people even visiting the country so they can meet their inhumane, unnecessary, and unreasonable immigration targets.

It is unrealistic for children to be separated from their parent due to a financial requirement imposed by a Tory government. Its unrealistic to force ANY family apart and have their human rights violated at the hands of this Tory government.
Tories only care about money…
They have no ethics, no morals, no values.

Their inhumane immigration policies separate families like mine and condone human rights abuse, this must end now!!
Here’s how can you help?
3.Contact your local MP about scraping the Minimum Income Requirement!
