inktober 8
Frail
Many beautiful things are frail and transient. Sunsets fade in mere moments, a rainbow may disappear as quickly as it appears, the beauty of each season turns into the next.
In my battles with depression I’ve found something else that is fragile. And that is my ablity to appreacaite these things. Depression has a lot of shitty aspects, not being able to appreciate a sun set has got to be high up there. That feeling of being hollow while I looked at a stunning sunset and feeling nothing, while remembering how I wanted to feel. Remembering that feeling is enough to keep me taking care of myself now.
One of the things that constantly reassures me, even on my worst days I’ll stop while I’m on a walk and just look at something and feel joy. Sometimes it’s a bee going from flower to flower, or just the flower itself, or the smell of lilacs, or seeing a caterpillar, or now that it’s fall some of the truly gorgeous colours on the leaves making a splendour of color on the ground and on the trees. These little joys are a reminder of how much better I am now then I was.
Well that got a whole lot more personal that I anticipated.
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