If there is any word in the English language that I associate with, it is the word different. My differences have defined my life. They have propelled me to the highest highs and the lowest lows. They have motivated me the most, and they have held me back the most. My early years of growth and development were defined by a choice I made when I was 13 years old.
- Be content with a world of homogeny, conformity, and stability.
- Search for a world of diversity, non-conformity, and new experiences.
I can remember the exact day, moment, and feelings surrounding this decision. Since that moment, my life has not been the same. It is astounding to think that I could make a decision like this at 13 years old. Most other kids were concerned about fitting in, conforming to expectations, and going along with the flow.
As I turn 20 years old in two months, I reflect back on the last seven years with reverence. I am completely astounded by the differences between the Kyle of 2008 and the Kyle of 2015. They are unique in their own right. Those two people have their own strengths and weaknesses, their own beliefs, and their own challenges.
The things I value in the Kyle of 2008:
- The naivety
- The openness to experience
- The conscientiousness
- The hunger for something better, something different
The things I value in the Kyle of 2015:
- The wisdom from a diverse set of experiences
- The excitement for the future
- The understanding of the benefits of deep relationships with others
- The big picture view
In those 7 years, I have grown.
- To know what it feels like to sit at the top of a mountain and feel the weight of the world underneath your body.
- To know what it feels like to hold a girl’s hand for two hours and feel vulnerable.
- To know what it feels like to give a speech in front of 500 people and Alexis Ohanian without any notice.
- To know what it feels like to longboard down 12th street at 9am and feel a rush of energy and excitement for the future.
- To know what it feels like to sit in a therapist’s office and talk about why you have been depressed for the past 6 months.
- To know what it feels like to be 10 feet from the CEO of Apple and realize that he doesn’t know any more about the future than you do.
- To know what it feels like to stand at the edge of Pier 45 at sundown, look at the completed World Trade Center, and realize how many people gave their lives to making America what it is today.
- To know what it feels like to wake up from anesthesia not knowing if you are an hour away from dying or an hour away from living.
I’m going to be writing a lot more before I turn 20. I am also going to be working on some great new things. Til then…
The open road still softly calls, like a nearly forgotten song of childhood.
— Carl Sagan
