I Am An Introvert. Deal with It.

Kyrazella
Kyrazella
Nov 1 · 7 min read

What Is Introversion?

According to the Verywellmind, an introvert is someone who focuses more on internal feelings, thoughts and moods rather than seeking external stimulation as extroverts do.

For this post, I was inspired by a blog called Introvertdear. They have a range of topics about Introverted individuals who tell us their stories. You can check out their blog here.

From the age of twelve, I always felt out of place during social gatherings and social events at school and activities outside school. I’ve always been a reserved kid from when I was younger, but as soon as I started secondary school, I knew that there was something different about me comparing myself to my peers at school.

It wasn’t really until a year ago when I realised that I am an introvert. This made me feel relieved to see that there were other people online who felt the same way as I do.

After turning eighteen, this allowed me to make my breakthrough in the real world however, the real world was not something I expected for people like me and you. Living in an extroverted world is extremely hard for introverts, although we have the connections to talk to fellow introverts online, interacting with extroverted individuals face to face during the day to day activities is far harder than I thought it would have been.

Here are seven confessions of being an introverted person living in an extroverted world:

A girl by herself looking away.
A girl by herself looking away.

Emotional yet unemotional

I’ve been known to be called an unemotional person. It’s not because I can’t cry whenever something is upsetting, but I hate to show my vulnerability to people other than my family; even then I still struggle to show my emotions. This can have a negative effect on my well being because I decide to keep all of my feelings inside which does not only affect my physical and mental health, but it results to me showing my feelings in awkward and inappropriate ways. When I’m upset, instead of crying like a ‘normal’ person would do, I instead laugh or smile for no reason as a way to not cry in that particular moment. When I’m angry, I take it out on the people close to me (usually my sister) instead of walking away. I’m still finding ways to deal with my emotions, such as I used to dance, but since I stopped dancing my emotions have been all over the place. Luckily, I decided to start blogging and writing which has been a way to release all of my feelings through writing.

We like to plan, but we can be spontaneous SOMETIMES!

As an INFJ, I have the need to always plan everything I do. Even going to the shops. I can be a perfectionist sometimes planning in my head my schedule and lists; I can be spontaneous, but I need time to mentally adapt to my new plans.

A good example was when I agreed to go to a club with my friends. This was big for me because I’ve never gone to a club before, so when I agreed the arrangement was that I would meet my two friends outside the club so that we can go in together, but this did not happen. Instead, I was left outside the club waiting in a line for over an hour by myself and trying to find them in the club in a crowd of people for another hour. This became overwhelming for me because not only was I placed in a new environment, but there was a change to the initial plan.

Another incident was when another friend decided to change the day we go to the cinema and I agreed to her change of plan. Why was I okay with this change of plan but not the other change of plan? This is because although this was a sudden change to the plan I made in my head, she told me a day earlier so I had time to mentally prepare myself for that day.

What I am saying is that as an introvert we do like to plan, but we can be spontaneous sometimes if we are told the day before about the change of plans.

Being quiet does not mean we are moody

I saw how this affected me at school, but it wasn’t until I started to have a part-time job when I saw the true effect of my quietness in the real world around different people other than my peers. It’s always been an assumption with people that I don’t want them to talk to me or I like to be by myself just because I am a quiet person. It was never my intention to be seen as rude, it’s more to do with my internal thoughts which have a massive effect on me when I meet new people or talking to acquaintances.

For instance, when I started a summer job, it was only a month-long but it took me to the last two weeks when I started to become more comfortable around the people who I was working with. Although this resulted in a negative effect on me, I wasn’t going to place myself in an uncomfortable situation like I had done before in order to develop acquaintances and friends.

Sorry if I appear to be rude. I am not a moody person. I’m too deep in my thoughts to make a conversation with you.

We may avoid you, but it’s for a good reason

As an introvert, the one thing I dislike is small talk. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you, but it’s mostly the conversation that comes with small talk. ‘Oh, how are you?’ For others, this may be seen as a good conversation starter, and yes it is, but after the question, the conversation doesn’t really develop and as an introvert, I like to have deep meaningful conversations that would allow me to become more connected to the authentic self of the individual I am talking to.

Another reason I dislike small talk is that I have no idea how to develop the conversation after asking the question. My mind becomes jumbled up with different sentences to say but I still hold back due to feeling unsure of what to say next, which results to the long awkward silence (my best friend).

This is something which I like to avoid.

It takes time for us to get used to a new environment

It takes me months to get used to a new environment, and even after months I still feel foreign to the environment; the new smells, new people and the change to the scenery. When I started my part-time work, I found it hard to get into the routine as I didn’t know what to do most of the time. Yes, it can be said that it takes everyone time to get used to a new environment, but for introverts, it’s even harder because

When I started my part-time job at seventeen, I found it hard to get into the same routine as my colleagues. It’s not because of the intensity of the work, it was more to do with unfamiliarity which increased my anxiety; for instance, when I started to get myself into situations, such as finding a missing barcode, my thoughts were showing the possible outcomes of the situation which scared me. Whenever I had to ask my colleagues for help, I’ve always felt that I was irritating them or getting in their way.

As soon as I got home I always felt exhausted or overwhelmed which had an effect on my schoolwork.

I’ve found ways to cope with getting used to a new environment, such as not faking when I’m unsure of things and ask my colleagues, even when I feel like I’m irritated them. As someone once said to me, how are you going to learn if you don’t ask, and ever since I have taken this quote with me.

We will surprise you

As an introvert, people assume that I am constantly quiet. Yes, this is true the majority of the time, but introverts can be extroverts as well. When I was at school, I always went through a phrase for the majority of the week when I’m quiet and seek alone time, but I also go through a phase when I display extroverted characteristics. This was more prominent when I got to know my surroundings and my friends; my family see this side of me the majority of the time when I’m a chatterbox at home.

Believe us when we say that we are introverts, we just go through both introverted and extroverted phrases.

Loneliness is terrifying

There are many assumptions about introverts, such as that we like to be alone. Yes, this is true, but only to a certain extent. As an introvert, we need alone time to recharge yourself from an overstimulating situation, but we still fear loneliness. An Introverts’ experience of loneliness is different to extroverts, for instance, due to having the need to have depth conversations compared to a breadth conversation, we crave for the person who made us feel less like an awkward quiet person and more of a human being.

In my eighteen years, there’s only been a hand full of people, not including my family, who have been okay with sitting in silence or having in-depth conversations about anything other than generic topics.

Introverts get lonely too, and that’s a fact.

Thank You for reading this post.

View more content on my blog.

Kyrazella

Written by

Kyrazella

Hi. I’m Kyra, and I am a UK Millennial Lifestyle Blogger. On my blog, I give advice and tips on various topics. My blog: https://kyrazella.com/mediumnewsletter

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